I'll just summarize a few of the significant events in my summer. :)
June
A week before the girls' cabin trip, I went over to Ella's and slept over. It was rather fun. I remember that we watched this one episode of the X-Files, where Sculley and Mulder went to this house haunted by this older ghost couple that gets their kicks out of causing every couple that enters the house (that has the same-looking room in it, no matter what door you travel through, once you get past the entrance) to have their same fate--driven to the point where they kill themselves, or having the ghosts kill them, don't really remember. Now, it sounds intense, but the ghost couple themselves were somewhat humorous. Yet there were a couple of moments... yeah. Good episode. I remember Ella and I talked about stuff and then danced around to Lady Gaga's CD. XD That was really fun. I enjoyed hanging out with her.
The next weekend, I went on the Girls Get-a-way, a trip up to a cabin of one of the family's of a girl in my youth group, held on the same "weekend" (Thursday-Sunday) as the boys big camping trip... I think it was at the Boundary Waters. Anyway, it was awesome. We went tubing and kayaking, and bike riding, ate dinner at this nice pizza place and hung out with the girls telling stories and roasting marshmallows on the fire every night. Ella came with me there, and I think most of us had a great time, except for a girl who went home sick, and the one who had one of her dogs put down while we were there. Her dad (because they owned the cabin, and he was staying there a couple days) took her home when he went home. On the way back, we stopped at a Culver's for food, and Ella and I tanned on the front sidewalk of the restaurant. xD It was rather fun.
Various times during the summer, I caught up with a friend, that I've mentioned before, but don't remember her codename... anyway, I caught up with her on little bike rides over the summer, and that was pretty fun. I also hung out with "Macy" after church a few times, also fun. Later in the summer, I went to the pool and the mall with a girl from school, and I've become a little bit closer to her, which I'm glad that I have.
Another big highlight of my summer was another sleepover-one with Leah and Montana. For in-depth detail on that one:
http://iwillbitethephonetoproveitsharmless.blogspot.com/2009/06/sleepover-and-various-weekend-epicness.html
We went out to the river, watched Phantom of the Opera, and the Dark Knight. We recorded singing on Snapvine, and stayed up late. XD It was pretty darn awesome. :) Then Leah stayed the rest of the weekend. xD Pretty fun times for all of us.
Wow, I can't believe it was June 28... o.O That's pretty insanium in the cranium, dawg. Well, that's the highlights of June. :)
Thursday, September 10, 2009
An attempt to revive... (ventish. I'm sorry. :( ) You don't have to read.
I am so, so, so, so, SO, incredibly sorry that I haven't been updating lately. And I'll do special posts on my first week of school and summer at... some point. :-/ I'm really sorry. I'll try to generalize some stuff here. Thanks for watching my blog, though, you guys are so great. And if you haven't been... ^^' Well, I totally and completely understand.
Things have been fairly easy for me the past three days, and tommorrow, I leave school in the middle of the day to go on a trip to Wisconsin Dells with my family, and that'll be fun.
But I know a few people I'm sure don't have it that easy.
I'm wondering if my end-of-summer fears are becoming true. Except, there are no problems with school for me yet. I just... when I come home, I continue researching whatever I feel like that day, I keep on questioning, and sometimes I have negative thoughts about myself and my body, yet starting phy ed today has me quite reassured. But I need more than that in exercise.
And I'm so, so focused on myself. I need to get rid of that. And look at me complaining about me when I could be talking about more interesting and less self-depreceating (sp?) like summer and the first days of school... and maybe even my friends. I mean... *sigh*
I wish I could really help some, I mean, there are things that they're going through, that might not be as intense as I've heard from them or my other ones before, but I know a couple of them are pretty stressed out.
I'm so selfish when it comes to stuff. When I should be quiet and supportive, I'm talkative and overly peppy. When I know there are more important things in someone's life, all I want is for things to go back to the way they were. And possibly, they never will. I'm so, so selfish. Some of you may know, but I save so many tears for guilt. Maybe when they should be for someone else's pain. Rather than what may or may not be my own justified guilt.
But I'm scared. Of losing what I already have, I'm always scared of losing people, but usually, I'm scared of people dying. Some times during this summer, that fear consumed my thoughts. I had two dreams, one where someone very close to me, someone in my family, was dying, and another, where my principal died, and I was returning to school, the summer afterwards, and just hearing the news.
I could write an entire blog post about that, but this is different. Now, I'm fearing the loss of living people. I hated reading Melody Carlson's "Dark Blue" because it was just hard to read. The girl might have been misinterpreting a lot from her friend, and overreacting a little, but the concept, drifting apart from your best friend, it was painful. "Wintergirls" by Laurie Halse Anderson was painful, utterly painful, because it dealt with the negative pressures the girls put on each other, and their ultimate seperation.
I can't live paralyzed by fear, and I have give everything up to God, but I just hate considering... certain possibilities. I'm just so, too, dependent on people sometimes... on relationships sometimes... okay, all the time. I'll be downright honest, I am so utterly dependent on relationships. And on routines I have. And I can be pretty dang pathetic and insensitive a lot when it comes to some things and I just can't stand it most times. I acknowledge my behavior, but sometimes I wonder if I can change. I know I can, in God's strength. But I need help. I need His help. Through God I can do all things. And in His strength I can do anything. But I have to trust Him. I have to. My faith is key in everything I do, GOD is key in everything I do... God is always here.
Believers, if you could pray for my friends, I'm not going to go into detail about them, because I have several friends who need help with several things, if possible. And thank you all my readers for your support and readership. God bless you all. Love you all. Thanks so much again.
Things have been fairly easy for me the past three days, and tommorrow, I leave school in the middle of the day to go on a trip to Wisconsin Dells with my family, and that'll be fun.
But I know a few people I'm sure don't have it that easy.
I'm wondering if my end-of-summer fears are becoming true. Except, there are no problems with school for me yet. I just... when I come home, I continue researching whatever I feel like that day, I keep on questioning, and sometimes I have negative thoughts about myself and my body, yet starting phy ed today has me quite reassured. But I need more than that in exercise.
And I'm so, so focused on myself. I need to get rid of that. And look at me complaining about me when I could be talking about more interesting and less self-depreceating (sp?) like summer and the first days of school... and maybe even my friends. I mean... *sigh*
I wish I could really help some, I mean, there are things that they're going through, that might not be as intense as I've heard from them or my other ones before, but I know a couple of them are pretty stressed out.
I'm so selfish when it comes to stuff. When I should be quiet and supportive, I'm talkative and overly peppy. When I know there are more important things in someone's life, all I want is for things to go back to the way they were. And possibly, they never will. I'm so, so selfish. Some of you may know, but I save so many tears for guilt. Maybe when they should be for someone else's pain. Rather than what may or may not be my own justified guilt.
But I'm scared. Of losing what I already have, I'm always scared of losing people, but usually, I'm scared of people dying. Some times during this summer, that fear consumed my thoughts. I had two dreams, one where someone very close to me, someone in my family, was dying, and another, where my principal died, and I was returning to school, the summer afterwards, and just hearing the news.
I could write an entire blog post about that, but this is different. Now, I'm fearing the loss of living people. I hated reading Melody Carlson's "Dark Blue" because it was just hard to read. The girl might have been misinterpreting a lot from her friend, and overreacting a little, but the concept, drifting apart from your best friend, it was painful. "Wintergirls" by Laurie Halse Anderson was painful, utterly painful, because it dealt with the negative pressures the girls put on each other, and their ultimate seperation.
I can't live paralyzed by fear, and I have give everything up to God, but I just hate considering... certain possibilities. I'm just so, too, dependent on people sometimes... on relationships sometimes... okay, all the time. I'll be downright honest, I am so utterly dependent on relationships. And on routines I have. And I can be pretty dang pathetic and insensitive a lot when it comes to some things and I just can't stand it most times. I acknowledge my behavior, but sometimes I wonder if I can change. I know I can, in God's strength. But I need help. I need His help. Through God I can do all things. And in His strength I can do anything. But I have to trust Him. I have to. My faith is key in everything I do, GOD is key in everything I do... God is always here.
Believers, if you could pray for my friends, I'm not going to go into detail about them, because I have several friends who need help with several things, if possible. And thank you all my readers for your support and readership. God bless you all. Love you all. Thanks so much again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
