Some sort of poemishvent thing. (a test for myself)

Identity

These days I wonder
Where did my heart go?
Where did my empathy go?
Where did my faith go?
When did this attitude of selfishness, coarseness come from?
When did I turn into this person?
When did my caring die?
When did every thought turn into me?
Where did my selflessness go?

When did I become this person?
When did I start to make excuses?
When did I start apologizing just to make me seem better?
When did I turn into this person?

Where did my heart go?
When did I become the kind of person I'd like to hit?
When did I get so violent?
When did I get so coarse and cruel?
When did I get so ignorant?

When did I lose it?
When did I stop caring?
When did I become all about me?
When did I drain my friendships of substance?

When did my fiction become more important than real life?
When did I stop caring?
When did I become this person?

How could I start a new year as this person?
How could I think about those things?
How come God still forgives me?
Still wants me, still loves me?

How could anyone if they really knew every thought within me?
How is it possible?


Somehow, it is,
He tells me
Somehow, God still loves me.
Somehow, the incredible people
He's placed in my life
Still love me.

Somehow.
God knows me, all of me, and still loves me.
Love you. Loves all of us.
No matter what.

All I know,
Is that my life must be realigned,
Maybe it will be painful,
But my life must be changed.
My dreams, my goals, my passions,
Should all be His.
All of me.
I won't be missing,
I won't be someone I don't know, someone I'd love to hate,
Anymore.
Because of His love, and His grace.