Elizabeth Scott, I certainly wish that paraphrased quote of your novel
Living Dead Girl was true. Tonight, I finished one of my last online literature class assignments. Here is an excerpt from it:
"2.
Losing your faith may seem
logical or illogical, occur subtly or suddenly, simply or complexly. Some see
the loss of faith in God or the divine as deadly, or tragic, or condemning, and
find the loss of faith in humanity or the world as acceptable. Some see the
loss of faith in humanity or the potential or good of humanity or the world as
being part of the path to bitterness and the loss of faith in a deity as
logical. Others see such in other ways. Losing one’s faith in anything is never
just one thing or another. The divine consequences of doing so could be debated
forever, and I know what I believe as true, but I think so many times, we lose sight of the many subtleties of such a
loss. I recognize how awfully overrun I felt after reading Night the first time, and the days I barely spoke a word when I
heard about certain individuals’ deaths even when those individuals were people
I did not know. I know I would not do very well without my faith in God, and
the salvation I believe I have received, but I also recognize that such faith
is not always necessary for an individual’s happiness or sense of peace.
Wiesel’s loss of faith seems to make sense. Many who have experienced such
unspeakable horrors or even more speakable, but still awful situations, who
lose faith, seem to have great reasons why. It seems that when humans commit
evil, humans are not always held responsible for that evil. Both in a legal
sense, and a philosophical, spiritual sense. Regardless, one has to think back
to the introduction of the story, when a solid, seemingly religious/Christian
man interviews Elie Wiesel, and the man is at a loss for words, for assurance
for this man: so he simply embraces and cries with him. I feel as though that
may be one of the most important responses we can have in the face of others’
many great losses.
3.
Cruelty comes in many forms.
The knowing causing of distress toward others appears almost everywhere one can
look. Genocide is one form, huge and glaring, awful and earthshaking. Bullying
is another, much more subtle when it first occurs, in hallways and text
messages on just a few phones, but equally earthshaking, especially when it
leads to the same results as genocide. I would say that this is yet another
issue we should never allow again, but I have to wonder if it is possible to
never permit cruelty. I’d like it to be, but there is something beneath the
surface of every one of us, a capacity to commit acts of cruelty, whether
“large” or “small”, and that destroying that nature altogether may be
impossible. Perhaps we cannot change natures or the darker depths within, but
we can likely take the steps necessary to shift our world. This may sound
inconsistent, but I would say, regarding humanity, I believe in our ability and
capacity for good just as much as our capacity and ability for cruelty/evil.
4.
Antisemitism is absolutely,
entirely wrong. Antisemitism and all actions of discrimination, prejudice, or
violence against a human being, especially for an inherent characteristic of
theirs (race, ethnicity, religion, etc.), is absolutely, entirely wrong. In our
region, it seems that other forms of racism/discrimination pervade, but
regardless of such, it is simply not right for we as human beings to determine
others as less than ourselves. At many times, we should perhaps emphasize our
similarities in the diverse community of the world in which we live. We are all
human: for better and for worse, for whatever such a title may imply, for
whatever we define ourselves by, and whatever “being human” may mean. Each and
every one of us is significant; how can we ever consider one as better than
another?...
...I must acknowledge my own
human tendencies, and frailties, come clean, and destroy any hypocrisy in me. I
often fear for my future and the rightness and wrongness of my own thoughts,
sometimes to the point of feeling totally lost in my own life, which seems
scarier during those times than any dangerous situation I have ever potentially
experienced.
I am a frail and weak creature, but I
think that we all are in some ways, as much as we are healthy and strong. Above
all, we should take in the world as it is, for all its horror, but understand
that hope still exists, and that we should be doing all we can to promote this
hope, and give it to those who feel they have lost it."
Last week, a 13-year-old girl killed herself presumably because of bullying. A few days ago, in the even-closer city, another young man did the same, for presumably the same reasons. A pastor in California died of a brain tumor, leaving behind a huge congregation, a wife, and two young children. Friends and families are in mourning all around me. I thought I'd be at a loss for thought and word, for everything except criticizing God for his passiveness in these matters. At the same time, I'm praying desperately for healing.
Like I wrote just last year about other terrible situations, I say again, it would be easy. But still the same, God has not changed. People, horribly, have not changed. Some have, some haven't; it would be inaccurate to say that all have remained or regressed into worse versions of themselves since the times that have passed. But death is just everywhere. Death and wounding and brokenness and broken hearts and broken people. I'll get out my one stupid indulgence in guilt over not realizing or recognizing or stepping up, but I'll say it now, I don't deserve it. I don't even deserve to agonize over such things because I will have blood on my hands if I don't try my best to support and stand up for those who struggle. I. Will. Have. Blood. All of us who stand by will be just as responsible as the ones who attack others. It makes me recall an Elie Wiesel quote:
"I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."
My peers are amazing. Just reading some of the things they have said on the discussion board just gives me a little bit of hope in humanity. Even though I didn't reread
Night as assigned (yet), I still recall the effect Wiesel's account had on me and see what it has done to others. I have likely never read a wiser, more incredible author's retelling of his own life. I feel as though I need to reread it soon, regardless of what happens. I can never forget the things which we have done to each other as human beings. I need the perspective. The potential each of us has for both unspeakable evil and near-unbelievable good and certain individuals' astonishing strength. We are capable of succumbing to horrific circumstances and capable of surviving horrific circumstances. Amazing.
And as much as it sometimes pains me, I must worship the creator of such beings. I must worship this Creator because He is the Creator and He is Savior and God of Love and Prince of Peace, as much as I feel that we sometimes see contradictions. Just like one of my favorite musical artists of this time says, "In God we trust, even when he seems like the enemy..." (Derek Webb, "In God We Trust").
I realize this post is biased as it captures emotions and struggles through the eyes of I, a mere bystander and observer; as much as my heart is broken for these families and friends of those who currently grieve, I have not yet even gotten the slightest inkling of the pain which they endure. I am praying. I will always be praying. I request that others who read this also pray. And I also pray for our strength and compassion during our lives. That we don't forget everyone's humanity. And God's sovereignty, as hard as it is to maintain such faith. But he still loves. And calls us to love. All my readers, whoever you are, no matter what you believe, don't forget to love: love in the compassionate sense, the patient, kind, non-boastful kind of love. We all must give this love to others. We are not the judges of our peers. We are simply human beings living in a place with other human beings. Reach out. Do not fear, for perfect love casts that out. We are alive and compassion gives hope.
Thank you.
