More ventish and almost depressing poetry.

I love music right now. Thank God for Jill Pearson, Superchick, and Barlow Girl right now. And my friends.

Anyway, more poems. Can't prose my feelings yet.


God, I feel like I'm losing it a lot right now
I know You're holding onto me
But I'm still slipping, sliding, barely grasping
Too confused
Too perplexed
Too scared
Of not having the people
That hold me up
And that's wrong
You hold me up when I'm falling
But I've been leaning onto them too much
But I flinch at every untrue word
That slips from their lips
And yet I can't let go
And let You change them,
I hold onto to what I try to do.
And I should give it up to you.
I guess I'm codependent.
Or something more,
Or something less?
I don't know myself again
Last time I felt this way
I was falling apart.
I have little seconds where I slip a lot.
Feel that falling apart
Tears can come whenever my mind is tempted
And then they go away.
I act like I'm okay.
I don't even know what's wrong with me, Lord!
Should I?
Are You using this to draw me closer?
Or am I falling somewhere You don't want me to go?
I know You won't forsake me...
I know that I believe You.
That I can't live without You.
But why do those times come? Lord, forgive me for my doubts.
I know You're here.
And "Blessed are the ones who don't see, and yet still believe."
Lord, hold me tighter, when I'm struggling, I'm flailing
Lost, unsure, confused.
Bring me close to You. I know You're here. Please forgive me for my doubts.
I know You love me.
And them too, Lord.
Use me, Your servant, is listening now.
My mind is clear!
Thank You for being here...