Happy New Year, here's a pathetic, mentally third-grader's vent.

((I'm really sorry for not updating. Everything's semi-anonymous just so I can get this off my chest. Happy New Year's, everyone.))

I must be a clingy child. I mean, it doesn't bother me when my best friend does stuff with her other friend, but with our other best friend? And not even think to include me? Why can't I just let it go?

I said I wanted to go see that movie with the two of them, even though I've already seen it. I SAID it to both of them. I mean, they live fifteen miles away, and it's cold out, and my dad was already in Rochester, and I just HAD to sleep in... gosh. And I mean, I couldn't force any of my friend to pick me up, because that would just be intruding. I'm not jealous, I'm just upset that they didn't even think to include me. Sometimes things don't work out, but... gosh, I'm acting like a child. I really am. Why should this matter? They live a ways away, and they never get to hang out with just the two of them... why can't I just leave them alone?

The thing is, about the internet, is I can fake that I'm fine but not really be it. But I told one friend how I really felt, and the other, I just gave one-word replies. Gosh, I'm so pathetic. I'm just gonna have to let this go. There's nothing that I could've done about it and it's not worth my getting upset over.

But that doesn't mean I'm still not upset about it. I don't like holding grudges, and in my selfish state, I see there are ways I could've gone, but my parents don't want to go into town cuz it's too cold, and the roads are probably dangerous. And I guess it's all just a matter of selfishness. I'm still not too happy, though. :-/
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On New Year's Eve, I went to Rock the Clock. And it was awesome. The three bands I saw: Claret (amazing), Benson Wells (okay, but still good), and my favoriteish of the night, Camera Can't Lie (though we had to leave early when they came on. D:). Most of this time in between bands was spent dancing caffeinated, playing Band Hero (which is amazing) and talking and stuff.
One of the most surprising things was, however, that, after I halfway-joked that being in a band of some sort was one of my New Year's resolutions, "Sam 1" invited me, "Macy", and (I forgot what her codename was...) "Kay" to be in a band with him. I know he's only been playing guitar for a few months, but Macy's been playing bass forever, and Kay has the most incredible voice. If something actually comes out of this band attempt (I've been a few failed ones, most of them never got to the first meeting), I'd say she deserves lead vocalist. I'd say her gift calls for lead EVERYTHING if it comes to singing. But I still want to be a part, so I'll try to make good backup/lyrics (Macy and Sam 1 also have written songs, but I'll try to be useful), and maybe relearn piano so I could play a keyboard. Though what he said we really need is a synthesizer. I think that'd be cool too.
I'm hoping this works out. I'm not as serious about this as I could be, but I will be serious if I know this will be serious.

Anyway, resolutions:

1. Make my life right with God. Really, really, put my whole heart into my relationships with Him and focus on Him. Read His Word, and follow His plans, listen for Him, and most of all, act. Be loving, be compassionate. Listen. Do good. Imitate the fruits of the spirit until they are natural to me.
2. Finish "Interference" (my nanowrimo novel)
3. Be more sensitive. About everything. I personally think I've been too coarse lately about everything.
4. Be less inappropriate. (Something I really need to work on).
5. Let people talk.
6. Get on an exercise regimen. (Even if you say I'm skinny, I still need to get off my lazy butt and do something.)
7. Talk like it's 2 in the morning all the time.
8. Talk to all my friends.
9. Be more grateful, less moody, and less agressive. (really, these are a problem for me. T.T)
10. Live by the so-called motto: Love God and love others. Let your love of Him flow over to everyone around you.

Sorry I missed everything. D: Anyway, really late Merry Christmas, and really late Happy Thanksgiving. <3 I'm thankful for all of my friends who put up with my childishness and obnoxiousness and everythingelseness, my wonderful family who also has to do that and, like my friends, always support me. I thank the genuine people who actually correct me when I'm wrong instead of letting me go off and say stupid things, and my most wonderful boyfriend, Nathaniel. :) He is the most wonderful guy, and I am so blessed to have such a loving person like him by my side.
And most importantly, I thank God for this incredible year, and this incredible life of mine. Without Him, I am nothing.

And thank you to those who still find time to read this neglected piece of fail. ^^'

2009 was a good year. I'm hoping 2010 will go just as well, if not better. Thank you, Lord, for one more year. I love you all, and God bless.