Author's Note: Remember the morbid story I said was inspired by that morbid email? Well, I'm writing it now. May I warn you, that this is a very roughly written draft/thing that I probably won't edit before publishing here. If you notice any conventional (grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc.) mistakes, let me know. Other than that, just tell me what you think.
Another warning: THIS STORY IS SAD. o.e Also rather dark, dealing with situations that involving suicide, self-injury, death, school, and perhaps selective mutism. So, please read at your own disgression.
The email was about a girl who was called ugly and undatable by a boy she liked, a boy afraid of what his friends would think, and who supposedly killed herself by slitting her wrists, cutting her face, and perhaps also drowning herself. It was titled "NO GIRL DESERVES TO HAVE THIS TOLD TO HER!" which I agree with.
But I knew that that was not the whole story, if the story were true, or not...
What about her family? Her mother, the only mentioned parent in the email? Friends? Her school, community? And of course, the boy. The aftermath of this girl's tragic and avoidable death. There was so much more to it than this, shock value, how terribly destroyed that girl's self-esteem was.
I kept thinking. And I got to writing.
-------
You lied to her.
Look what happened now.
No... no, this couldn't...
You killed her.
It wasn't true. It wasn't murder. He did lie.
But she was gone... forever....
Haunting you...
---
Those words on the mirror. Why did she never tell them?! How could this have happened?!
Marley didn't think she could handle this... She didn't even know. She didn't even know what was happening to her friend. The shock would never wear off to her...
"Am I pretty enough now?"
She couldn't even bear go to that funeral. But she had to.
She did, barely making it out of the church... no one ever used the word... why the casket was closed...
She couldn't even think of that word.
Death was always a sad, miserable thing. But it was an incredible, deep, pain when it's someone you loved. Kristen.... she was practically her sister. Gone. Forever. She didn't even get the chance to turn 14.
Her lost life in her own hands...
She could never think of her dear friend that way...
---
Jess locked herself in her room, trying to blank out, blasting Linkin Park, then Flyleaf, Evanescence, My Chemical Romance, and then more Linkin Park, shutting up her brain, and damaging her ears, silencing her emotions.
She didn't believe it. She wouldn't believe it.
Whatever screwed up the people in these bands, excluding Flyleaf, couldn't have been worse than what had just happened.
She wouldn't believe it.
On Monday, she would go to school, and talk to her best friends, Kristen, Marley, and Sandra, like nothing had happened, BECAUSE NOTHING HAD.
She refused to go earlier. She wouldn't believe it.
Her parents tried to get past her locked door... she couldn't even hear them knock. She turned up her mp3, earbud headphones that curled over the back of her ear, with powerful amplification, made her music louder.
Her eyes betrayed her, tears slipping through them, as hard as she held them back... she wanted to call her. Ask her what was wrong. Apologize for anything she might have done, comfort her, call Sandra, have her help...
But that part of her inside, knew she would never be able to do that again.
----
Sandra prayed, she cried, and prayed. And then she laid in bed, just laying there, staring up at the ceiling, her shoulder-length, dark brown, hair sprawled out on her pillow. She had changed as soon as she got home, half-wanting to burn that black skirt and jacket she'd worn... maybe she wouldn't remember as well.
How could she be gone? Why...?
She turned toward her pillow, curling up beneath her sheets, and crying once again... too many questions... she knew it happened. It was just too much, though... she asked why, again, and again...
She couldn't believe she was gone...
Bzzzzzz, Bzzzzzzzzzz, Bzz...
She reached for her phone, sniffing slightly. "Hello?" she said, quietly, coughing slightly to clear her throat from the hoarseness it had from crying so much.
No answer, but someone else's sobbing over the phone... Marley. A hangup.
And then a ring of a doorbell. Her parents opening the door, their footsteps below, and then someone else's, no doubt, rushing up there. Marley...
The friends through their arms around each other, crying, and holding each other, not even caring anymore... they couldn't hold back their tears. This was all too real to them...
---
Jess opened her window, sneaking out the back, and down the gutters, through Sandy's backyard, and through their back door. Marley was already there....
She snuck up there deliberately, still holding back her own tears...
The door creaked open, the sound her friends' sobbing much too loud, and she couldn't hold back any longer.... she put her arms around the both of them, and cried silently.
They were undoubtedly missing someone... someone they weren't getting back... it seemed incomplete. And so they cried, not saying a word, while they held each other close, afraid to let go...
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