(This was originally on Levi's blog, then on Dibsy's blog, but I must give credit to Levi for his coolness in posting this. 8) YOU ARE AWESOME!)
((I may have songs that are a little too poppish on my Windows Media Player for your guys' taste, so I apologize. D: Also, because you probably won't know of her, when she shows up in this: http://www.jillpearsonmusic.com/ Jill Pearson, who attends my church, who sings and writes amazingly, and is overall awesome. :) You can listen to some of her songs and look at the lyrics of all of them there.))
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down
If someone says "Is this Okay?" You say:
"Photograph" by Nickelback (...Okay then. Lol. That's a bit of a rant for "Is this okay?"...)
How would you describe yourself?
"This is What It Means to Love" by Jill Pearson (A bit of an ego there, title-wise, I must have... *jk*)
What do you like in a guy/girl?
"Far Away"-Nickelback (I don't like to be far away from people... :( But that's okay. It's a good, romantic, song, so I guess it works. :) ILY Nattie. <3)
How do you feel today?
"My, Oh My, What a Miracle"- Jill Pearson (I wish. :( )
What's your life purpose?
"Fall to Pieces"- Avril Lavigne (Lovely... xP )
What do your friends think of you?
Say (All I Need)- OneRepublic (I guess it... could... sort of maybe fit? o.o)
What do your parents think of you?
Innocence- Avril Lavigne (Great... heheheh... they are clueless. *jk*)
What do you often think about?
Nothing in this World- Hoku (Lovely. A post break-up song. *sigh* I don't think so...)
What do you think about the person you like?
Who Knew~ P!nk ( :( Sadness. )
What is your life's story?
Living Water~ Jill Pearson (I think that's a good thing... ^^)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
High School~ Superchick (I hope I'm more grown up than that... though I might not be, sadly. :-/ )
What will you dance to at your wedding?
All at Once- The Fray (I suppose that's okay. I hope my future husband and I are sure about each other... )
What will they play at your funeral?
Turn My Heart~ Jill Pearson (Saddish. :( Hopefully my heart will be focused where it should be then. No... it will be. Thank you, Lord.)
What is your biggest fear?
Contagious~ Avril Lavigne (.-. Well, obsessive relationships are usually a problem... but this could be genuine in the song... yeah, it probably is... maybe... gah. I don't really fear that though...)
What is your biggest secret?
Princes and Frogs- Superchick (O.O I am not a boy, if that's what it's saying...)
What is your future going to be like?
Chocolate~ Jill Pearson (XDDDD)
What do you see in the person you like?
We Will Follow the Sun~ Hoku (Sure, why not. xD :) ILY, Nattie, again. <3 )
What will the song be for you and your spouse?
Runaway- Avril Lavigne (I hope not...)
---This is where the original one I found stops, but I'ma keep going with another one I just found. I'm having too much fun doing this. I have to do this more.---Levi
Will you get far in life?
Four in the Morning~ Gwen Stefani (...Um, what exactly does that mean? o.o)
Will you get married?
The Best D*mn Thing~ Avril Lavigne (What does that mean? I hope it's a yes... I wanna get married. D: :( )
What is your best friend's theme song?
Savin' Me~ Nickelback (Leah... is there something you're not telling me about? )
What was high school like?
Pure~ Superchick (I hope so...)
How can you get ahead in life?
Franklin~ Paramore (FINALLY! A Paramore song! :D Anyway... Sounds kind of melancholy. So I should stay in my town? o.O)
What is the best thing about your friends?
At the Corners~ Jill Pearson (Awww... you guys are awesome. :) )
What is in store for this weekend?
Songs with Wings~ Jill Pearson (Sounds good to me.)
To describe your grandparents?
So Bright (Stand Up)-Superchick (I don't know my grandparents very well... but I suppose that's goodish... sounds like something a grandparent might tell their grandchild maybe if they were doing stuff that isn't so great...)
How is your life going?
This is my Friend- Jill Pearson (AWESOME! Amen to that.)
How does the world see you?
We Live~ Superchick (Happy.)
Will you have a happy life?
God of Hope~ Jill Pearson (Amen to that.)
Do people secretly lust after you?
My Heart~ Paramore (People secretly want to give their heart to me? o.o)
How can I make myself happy?
Hundred~ The Fray (But that's a MELANCHOLY song... :( )
What should you do with your life?
Restore~ Jill Pearson (I suppose that's goodish.)
Will you ever have children?
Beautiful Offering~ Jill Pearson (o.o I think that's a yes... yay!)
If a man in a van offered you candy, what would you do?
It's On~ Superchick (XD)
What does your mum think of you?
Anything but Ordinary~ Avril Lavigne (I suppose that's a good thing... I am anything but ordinary. *jk* XD :) Thank you... mom?)
What is your deep dark secret?
Vienna~ The Fray (What's that supposed to mean?! o.o)
What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
What I've Done~ Linkin Park (Well, at least whoever my mortal enemy is won't be my mortal enemy forever...)
What's your personality like?
Lying for You~ Linkin Park (Oh joy. o.ee. Two Linkin Park songs in a row... o.o)
What's your motto?
Can God Live in a Broken Heart- Jill Pearson (Okay. God can live in a broken heart...)
What do you think about often?
She Is~ The Fray (Ummm... maybe? o.ee Probably not. I don't think of girls that way... maybe my friends...)
What do you want right now?
You First Believed~ Hoku (Sure.)
((Wow, I'm done. D: No super-awkward ones. Which is sadness. *sigh* But still goodish, I suppose. I wish YouTube had a shuffle button on playlists... that would work waaaaaay better. XD :)
Sunday, July 5, 2009
(reflection-y-rant-thing; probably serious) ...a person, not a problem.
That's what I'm trying to remind myself. Now that I think of it, that saying up there could be applied to a lot of things. Like one of the issues I seem to care so much about. Man, so many thought... just tumbling into another... It's always hard to focus on what I originally wanted to write about, once I get a thought-snowball like that.
I think I'll seperate my character flaws/whatever I should call them/negative thoughts into external and internal. External is stuff I could express out loud to someone that might be hurtful/frustrating/anger-inducing or what I do express out loud. Internal is a struggle that goes on within me, which could be self-exteem, or purely spiritual, like temptations, or just something that I personally think is screwed up in me.
I will admit, I can be really stupid and mean in my head. To other people. I would totally... well, I wouldn't kill, but I'd do something extreme just to be as sensitive as was about two to three years ago. Without being lost spiritually, anyway. I had the best empathy on earth. I guess I say that a lot, and that makes me think I'm whiney, like how I complain about my weight all the time, ignore how my friends say I'm not fat, and how I don't exercise hardly enough even after a day of enough snacks to match the three, carb-heavy, meals that I eat every day.
Sometimes I forget that my friends are more than just the issues that I see they have. I think that's the problem anyway. I can't find a balance, just like I can't with my self-perception. If I'm too friendly and ignore whatever's going on in their life and just don't say a word about it as I watch them go farther and farther from where they could, should, would be, it's just... not good. Sometimes we have to break our friends rules and intervene. Or at least try. And then if I'm too analytical or too talkative about their issues, they hate me for it. There is never a happy medium for the way I act. I cling to some friends. I never bring up whatever's going wrong in their life unless they do. I cling to some friends, and then I feel responsibility to others. If I don't talk to them in a while, I feel guilty, because what if their situation got worse? Or what if... what if, what if, what if. And it's like I'm not talking to them because I want to talk to them. And sometimes I'm like an information addict with my friends. A lot of the time, I'm curious at to what they have to say. And each time I find out something new about them, I have such a great feeling, like I'm more and more trusted. And then, I realize, I don't deserve trust, because I've betrayed their secrets before, even if it was just a crush, which it usually is. And then serious things, I don't let anyone else know. I have, I think, about two friends who willingly come to me with their problems and accept the words I say to them in response. It's not always just advice, sometimes it's just... I dunno. My responses. I feel so invasive sometimes. I know I am sometimes. Sometimes I'm genuinely concerned. Usually it's trivial things I'm invasive about, like boys and crushes. I try not to push so hard on serious issues. Only when they bring them up. They're people, not issues, not problems... these things either don't define them at all, or entirely make them who they are. If they're not taking charge, if they're not letting God in, or anyone else who tries to help.
I don't think I can be a co-dependent, because my family hasn't had the kind of issues that makes a person a co-dependent. Either that, or I'm ridiculously unorthodox. I don't fit all the symptoms either. I usually go up for personal responsibility when it comes to a person's actions, even if they have a mental disorder, which might ruin my chances of becoming a psychologist... I mean, things can be distorted when one has a disorder, but that doesn't mean one should not take responsibility for those actions. I don't even know where I got my basis, it's just my current thoughts. I wasn't always that way. But I'm such a hypocrite. What if... I just had something to blame on all of my wrong thoughts and actions? Not even another person, but just something within myself that "made" me act the way I did? What sick person wishes that? Even thinks of it? It's like sin--Satan tempts, but we commit the action of sin. No one, not even the evilest force "makes" us sin. It's just the way we are... and we have the choice, to bless or curse. To live or die spiritually.
I'll never wish this short life over before it's time again, but I just wish I could get a total mental makeover. I wish I could be the person who could balance, and the one that God wants me to be. I have to work though. Just like my whining problems, I've just gotta work... really, really hard.
Prayer requests again to my believing friends (You don't have to; it's just requests):
-My former piano-teaching friend in Kazahkstan, who is teaching English there. That she remains safe and reaches out the best way she can for the Lord in the country.
-A man who lost his cousin recently, to suicide. For the family and everyone.
-The country. We're lost, but we can be found again. That all will turn to God even more.
((Happy Late American Independence Day, guys. :) ))
And now I feel better after writing all this stuff. It wasn't good to write, but I feel better... I really do care about you guys, my friends. I love you guys so much. I'm amazed how you can put up with me all the time. You guys are the greatest people I've ever met, and I really don't know where I'd be without you. I thank God for you everyday.
I think I'll seperate my character flaws/whatever I should call them/negative thoughts into external and internal. External is stuff I could express out loud to someone that might be hurtful/frustrating/anger-inducing or what I do express out loud. Internal is a struggle that goes on within me, which could be self-exteem, or purely spiritual, like temptations, or just something that I personally think is screwed up in me.
I will admit, I can be really stupid and mean in my head. To other people. I would totally... well, I wouldn't kill, but I'd do something extreme just to be as sensitive as was about two to three years ago. Without being lost spiritually, anyway. I had the best empathy on earth. I guess I say that a lot, and that makes me think I'm whiney, like how I complain about my weight all the time, ignore how my friends say I'm not fat, and how I don't exercise hardly enough even after a day of enough snacks to match the three, carb-heavy, meals that I eat every day.
Sometimes I forget that my friends are more than just the issues that I see they have. I think that's the problem anyway. I can't find a balance, just like I can't with my self-perception. If I'm too friendly and ignore whatever's going on in their life and just don't say a word about it as I watch them go farther and farther from where they could, should, would be, it's just... not good. Sometimes we have to break our friends rules and intervene. Or at least try. And then if I'm too analytical or too talkative about their issues, they hate me for it. There is never a happy medium for the way I act. I cling to some friends. I never bring up whatever's going wrong in their life unless they do. I cling to some friends, and then I feel responsibility to others. If I don't talk to them in a while, I feel guilty, because what if their situation got worse? Or what if... what if, what if, what if. And it's like I'm not talking to them because I want to talk to them. And sometimes I'm like an information addict with my friends. A lot of the time, I'm curious at to what they have to say. And each time I find out something new about them, I have such a great feeling, like I'm more and more trusted. And then, I realize, I don't deserve trust, because I've betrayed their secrets before, even if it was just a crush, which it usually is. And then serious things, I don't let anyone else know. I have, I think, about two friends who willingly come to me with their problems and accept the words I say to them in response. It's not always just advice, sometimes it's just... I dunno. My responses. I feel so invasive sometimes. I know I am sometimes. Sometimes I'm genuinely concerned. Usually it's trivial things I'm invasive about, like boys and crushes. I try not to push so hard on serious issues. Only when they bring them up. They're people, not issues, not problems... these things either don't define them at all, or entirely make them who they are. If they're not taking charge, if they're not letting God in, or anyone else who tries to help.
I don't think I can be a co-dependent, because my family hasn't had the kind of issues that makes a person a co-dependent. Either that, or I'm ridiculously unorthodox. I don't fit all the symptoms either. I usually go up for personal responsibility when it comes to a person's actions, even if they have a mental disorder, which might ruin my chances of becoming a psychologist... I mean, things can be distorted when one has a disorder, but that doesn't mean one should not take responsibility for those actions. I don't even know where I got my basis, it's just my current thoughts. I wasn't always that way. But I'm such a hypocrite. What if... I just had something to blame on all of my wrong thoughts and actions? Not even another person, but just something within myself that "made" me act the way I did? What sick person wishes that? Even thinks of it? It's like sin--Satan tempts, but we commit the action of sin. No one, not even the evilest force "makes" us sin. It's just the way we are... and we have the choice, to bless or curse. To live or die spiritually.
I'll never wish this short life over before it's time again, but I just wish I could get a total mental makeover. I wish I could be the person who could balance, and the one that God wants me to be. I have to work though. Just like my whining problems, I've just gotta work... really, really hard.
Prayer requests again to my believing friends (You don't have to; it's just requests):
-My former piano-teaching friend in Kazahkstan, who is teaching English there. That she remains safe and reaches out the best way she can for the Lord in the country.
-A man who lost his cousin recently, to suicide. For the family and everyone.
-The country. We're lost, but we can be found again. That all will turn to God even more.
((Happy Late American Independence Day, guys. :) ))
And now I feel better after writing all this stuff. It wasn't good to write, but I feel better... I really do care about you guys, my friends. I love you guys so much. I'm amazed how you can put up with me all the time. You guys are the greatest people I've ever met, and I really don't know where I'd be without you. I thank God for you everyday.
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