Could someone assist me in Creative Blog Post Titles 101? (summer reading list that I will add to at request/new book discovery, writing rants, etc.)

I've been severely procrastinating writing this. I have a feeling that my reading Lexile in the Fall could possibly go down about another 10 points from the three that my spring Lexile already went down this year, unless I start reading some books... like, RIGHT NOW. (Sorry for the abuse of the word "like"... I tend to talk like that when I rant in real life, so I apologize for my bad grammar. D:)

So, here is my summer reading list. Everyone: REMIND ME TO READ. I love reading, I do, I just haven't gotten into books since... I don't really know what caused my decline. *shrug* Well, here's the list (with explanations in parentheses; sorry if that gets annoying):

The Host by Stephenie Meyer (very pathetically never finished last summer though I bought it practically on the same day it came out...)

ALL the books in the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling (peer pressure; xP Though I'm interested.)

Breathless by Lurlene McDaniel (Just discovered this today, originally from an ad on Facebook...it sounds really good, sad, dramatic, tackles a contraversial issue with rawness of emotion, from what I saw in reviews... just how I like my realistic fiction. xP :( )

Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen

That Summer and Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen (I OWN those books and haven't finished them; this is just bugging me cuz I bought a lot of books, didn't finish them, and that just fails. xP)

The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen (same as above)

My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult (I know this book is good. Plus, I want to see the movie. And Handle with Care and The Tenth Circle, though I don't recommend them, were good. XD Heh. I'll explain later.)

Georgie by Malachy Doyle (sounds REALLY, REALLY good; a friend of mine recommended it, Amazon confirmed my interest)

Diary of a Teenage Girl Series by Melody Carlson (I just want to finish it. I'm on the first book of the third series of the entire big deal, and they're not hard to read, and I like them, however many times MC repeats herself with certain plot situations...)

True Colors series by Melody Carlson (read about 3 of them fully during the schoolyear, and I should be able to finish the rest at some point this summer... xD I need to head to the library again...)

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher (People read it a lot at my school. And it's been popping up on my suggested lists on Amazon for about two years, and I know its content, and it seems like something I'd like to read, so... yeah.)

The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons by Dan Brown (I like this stuff sometimes; my friends love it)

Perfect Chemistry by Simone Elkeles (I'm stealing it from Montana. I AM STEALING IT FROM HER. It also sounds a slight bit like Romiette and Julio by Sharon Draper, except much more intense, in several ways...)

Leaving Paradise by Simone Elkeles (just discovered on Amazon; It sounds so amazing that I seriously need to read it. Really sad, and I read that the ending was a downer from the reviews, but it still sounds good; downer ending to a "romance"= Breathing Underwater by Alex Flinn; though their situation was... er... quite different. And Nick shouldn't have been going after her after that anyway, but... first time reading it, it was still saddish. D: [/endrant] )
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And that's it so far. I'm TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY open to suggestions.

Seriously, I need to read more. And soon. :D So thank you. :)

Also... I really feel the need to write something random, and off the top of my head. And by random, it doesn't have to be random sounding (like humorous, nonsensical)... just... out of almost nowhere came the urge to write it. Except, there's always an inspiration. Like other books, music, situations in real life, certain issues that interest me... so whatever's on my mind, ends up as fiction on paper. Like my first short story recently. I'll post it eventually. Its roots drew from a recent loss in the church, perhaps in the back of my mind, this really adorable little girl I saw at a food drive, trying to understand guys, and I suppose you could call it, the value of children. Family... etc. It was short, and all the characters were annonymous. I wrote it rather late at night, so there could have been grammatical errors, but rereading it a couple of times the day after... it was actually pretty alright, in my opinion. And I'm not trying to sound cocky; I know it has its flaws, but... I kind of liked it. It was sad though. :'( But a lot of stuff I write can get sad. But this wasn't melodramatic... I think I was just trying to understand... what it meant, how it felt to have all of this happen to a person, and then that little hope at the ending.

So, I might end up writing something randomly tonight. If not... some other time. ^^' Well, I love you guys! God bless you! :)

*presses those electric heart-startthingstoblog* REVIVE! MERRY CHRISTMAS!/HAPPY HOLIDAYS! (And life-musings.)

Promise to self and others:

I WILL POST THIS POST
I WILL POST THIS POST
I WILL POST THIS POST
I WILL POST THIS POST
I WILL POST THIS POST
I WILL POST THIS POST
I WILL POST THIS POST...

Ai'ight, sorry guys for being gone forever... Dx

I love you guys, though! Seriously!

Leanne has been having internet issues for a very long while nowzzz, so it ish sad. D':

But Rose and her family are coming up for Christmas/New Year! ^^

And it shall be amazing!

I'm so glad for the Christmas season be here. It's always such a great, hopeful, joyful time for me. And, like all breaks from school/holidays a good time for reflection, writing, reading, talking, etc.

I do that anyway, but I have more time now.

And now, for some really irrelevant/relevant? musings of stuffs.

Numero uno, Leanne and I talk on the phone 24/7. I've been neglecting a lot of my other friends lately... :'( And the internet. Especially my internet friends. Which is bad. And I shouldn't do that.

But the phone-roleplay (which started out as a parody of our characters out of various roleplays I've joined/mainly "In Their Eyes" on AvatarSpirit.net) we do now really has me thinking.

I've always got dark, messed-up characters, with messed-up lives, and messed-up everything else. Plus, I'm a Christian (and YES, this has to do with something, it has to do with EVERYTHING) and they don't follow my own moral standards. I've been a pretty darkish person since around two years ago or longer, a little confused, a littl culture-shocked because I was either sheltered or 100% obliviously and happily naiive up until around fifth grade.

Probably a little bit of both. But when my parents decided to let me be a little less sheltered, I guess I just kept being blissfully ignorant/oblvious/naiive on my own.

Psh, they still think they shelter me.

But, I ruin that kind of effort. And they appreciate my deeper thoughts on things as a teenager, even when they may not agree, or have the same thoughts. They're my parents. I think they're glad I talk to them. If I talk to my mom, then she's mostly listening because I often talk to her after a couple cups of coffee in the morning after an entire week of school and I'm dancing and jumping off of kitchen chairs while ranting about "political issues" and friends and a whole bunch of other things and writing... etc...

But, back on topic.

So I'm dark. And I can take all the dark stuff. I read so many "problem novels" now, it's not even funny. I'm just too serious sometimes! My sense of humor is pretty harsh sometimes.

But I used to do this kind of writing/reading/talking because:
1. I was utterly depressing/depressed? in sixth grade
2. Due to this, I made my poor depressing already Mary-Sue'd character Kim become my emo self and do the morbid crud I couldn't get my own self to do
3. Later on, I read/wrote this kind of stuff to understand real troubled people without asking troubled people I know, or experiencing it myself (psych-preparation; YA fiction is how I RESEARCH[ED?])
4. Now I just don't know why. Might still be the research. And maybe for the sake of experiencing.

But here's what I know. As I keep on doing this, things just don't manage to phase anymore. Like my friend's "legal murder" comment on abortion, just the matter-of-fact voice of hers in that comment, just how unattached it was, like there was nothing to be done, nothing to be said, just a horrible fact-of-life, without the emotion, that's just how everything's starting to become for me.

What I realize is that there are REAL people who live this way. Who do what Leanne's and my characters do. Who have gone through the things we put them through. The people who live those miserable lives and keeping going through their vicious cycles until they conciously try to stop and move on and change their life, escape their circumstances and start over, do NOT have the luxury of acting it out, of pretending, the luxury of saying on the phone or Personal Messaging saying to "take a break" from it, or to press that fake rewind button when things get too intense for the writer/speaker's sake.

I know it was wrong for me to WISH for misfortune for myself for the sake of empathy, to truly understand a person's pain. But it's better than continuing drama for the sake of continuing it. It's like a real person's miserable life is just a petty thing to play with to a person who has a relatively decent life. Melody Carlson, Jodi Picoult, what is with these women? Why do they write what they write? Why do I write what I write? How do I keep doing that?

I want to be more aware. And I want to understand. But I don't want to have a terrible life, even if it means it would be more inspiring, at least in my own opinion, if I overcame it.

My dad is a perfect example.

Problem is, he's STILL overcoming. He's nearing fifty years old, and things that happened all the way back in his childhood, in his teenage years, STILL are with him, even as he overcomes. He has Christ in his life, and being a follower of the Lord does NOT make your life easier. It makes it easier to bear and shows you the higher meaning of WHY you were put on earth, WHY you go through what you do. It shows you that you were put here to accomplish something beautiful, to show the hope you received in HIM to others. You do not turn on a light and hide it underneath a bowl. You show it to others.

That is why is Christmas is beautiful too.

I always had a recovery story for my character locked up in my head if they ever got that far into a story or a roleplay. They just keep stumbling and falling and crawling, and trying to go through life on their own. Therefore, they keep falling. None of them know how to deal with their life. They're angry, they're hurting, and they just don't understand. This is a terrible stereotype, I suppose for people who actually do that. I don't know. I just don't believe you can ever fully understand your life unless you come to the Lord. But that's not what everyone believes, though. And I understand that, but that's what the Bible says, though, and I wholeheartedly believe all of it. I will admit, I don't agree with everything the Old Testament says, ("eye for an eye, rapist should marry victim, lots of incest... o.eee") but even the New Testament clears up some of the Old Testament, through Jesus's teachings, especially in Matthew. Pretty sick stuff in the Old Testament. I believe all of Creation, though. (The incest thing gets cleared up when more people get born, because... I suppose all that stuff happened because there was like, no one on earth yet. And Adam and Eve--NOT MADE RELATED.)

Off topic once again...

Like Melody Carlson, one of my new favorite authors, who, like myself, has her own overuse of topics, her own set of stereotypes due to her overuse of topics, I believe life was not meant to be perfect. Sure, there was the fall of the world. But God gave us free will. And that meant risking His people to become tempted by His enemies, and then choose to sin against him. But He didn't want robots to worship Him. He wanted the people to do so WILLINGLY. He brings us closer through even tragedy, turns evil into good. Nothing is a coincidence. Nothing that happens wasn't meant to happen. When we're made, God already knows whether or not we're going to choose Him over the world by the time we've reached the end of our lives. God knows EVERYTHING.

And so the road bumps in our lives can just shoot us right up to Him. Or, they can make us go bitter and angry and hurt and stay in our miserable life-cycles.

When I think about it, my dad's life has probably fascinated me for so long that it makes me put these sorts of things into my writing, and my reading. When I say "I don't wanna ask troubled people/people who have gone through the terrible stuff I think about too much", I realize after a few moments, my dad's probably been through it all. He really inspires me. He's still not always consistent, but I know he's clinging to the cross, and I know he's truly trying to change. And he's human. It's beautiful.

I love my mom too, and she's a very wise, kind of traditional sometimes, but open woman. My parents are great.

I just hope my brother doesn't go through the culture shock I went through, though I think he's past that now. I think he's already developing those kinds of "worldly" problems, probably influenced by me, my music, my talking on the phone, his little internet games... turning into a full-fledged dork, but he's so smart, funny, but so boy-ish! I just hope he learns to understand what's truly important. My brother and my mom have always had a really close relationship, and my dad and him can always watch TV, comedy shows, play games and stuff together.

This Christmas, I'm really grateful for saving Grace, for my family, and my friends who put up with me all the time.

Love you all! Have a very Happy Holiday and Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

Sincerely,

Aly

Books I read/read and why I write.

GAH.

I really have been procrastinating... in fact, some of the assignments, I wasn't hardly aware of. Like, I might have been heard of it once, from a couple of other people, and then never remembered that it was due/or becoming due.

This weekend, I think I might end up just doing HOMEWORK. o.ee Leanne's not gonna be home/availible for talking.

It feels like a Friday night.

*sigh*

Anyway...

Breathing Underwater is an amazing book by Alex Flinn about an abusive guy... and his family, and his friends, his school, his anger-management classes, and his ex-girlfriend. Yeah, I know everyone loves reading those books... xP. But honestly... really amazing book. *spoilersaheadforpeoplewhowillstillreadthisbook* He grew up with an abusive father, however, he never looks it. Everyone in his school thinks he's got a perfect life, big house, great car, on the football team, popular... but, he really doesn't. He's smart. He's 'attractive'. He seems like a great guy...

But, he realizes that he's got something more from his dad than just those green eyes, staring him down in the mirror every morning.

Enter, Caitlin McCourt, his "dream girl". Pretty, smart, and with issues of her own, she walks into his life, and he falls in love. Or, so it seems. He saves her from a Junior in High School at a party, beating him up, and they kiss for the first time. "...I was right. Hers was the kiss that mattered." he writes, in his journal, assigned to him from the judge at the beginning of the book, when Caitlin gets a restraining order upon him.

He walks around the school, his friends scorning him, no one daring to speak to him, Caitlin's best friend Elsa, writing on a board in English "GO NICK! BEAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!", many kids giving him comments, speaking that they wrote it. He practices strategies of controlling himself, and writing in the journal, simply wanting to recall the good times. With him and Caitlin. Happy, together...

That's just a little preview of the book I got all together, and ya know... you gotta read it.

I am one of the few sadistic people who would sit and say "I wanna write a problem novel." out of good purpose, but yeah, I would sit down and say that.

This past year ('07-early '08), books that have influenced some of the darker parts of my writing, as well as some books that really made me think/cry/wanna cry: Cut by Patricia McCormick (wanting to understand cutters, having friends and acquiantences [sp?] with such experience...), Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson (the main character is also a selective mute, who was raped), Breathing Underwater by Alex Flinn (the author being a girl, inspired to write 'Breathing Underwater' after volunteering at a battered woman's shelter), A Corner of the Universe by Ann M. Martin (a Juvenile Novel, yet, just as powerful and beautiful and tragic as any 'higher level' YA novel, about a recently-turned 12 year old girl, named Hattie Owen, in 1960, meeting and befriending her 20 year old uncle, who had just been released from a mental institution, for a condition diagnosed as a mix of autism and schizophrenia, whose perfectionist parents locked him away, in order not to ruin their family's reputation, looking down at their daughter's marriage of a dreamer artsy-type and boarding home business. Her uncle, Adam, seems just like a child at heart, kind, different, yet a true friend to her. She learns many things from him, and yet, in the end, tragedy strikes, but her learning to treat others with kindness and compassion is not forgotten. *tryingnottospoilhere...GOODBOOK.READIT.*), Rules by Cynthia Lord (another good juve. novel, much lighter, yet still featuring a 12-year-old female protagonist, a character with autism, this time, her little brother, and a physically disabled and mute boy who becomes a very close friend to the girl. Another great book. Lots of similar themes to 'A Corner of the Universe', yet, more concentrated on the themes of treating people the same, no matter how they look, the way they act. And not being afraid to be different, as well, because a lot of people won't stand up for people who are different, no matter how or why they're different. Just not fitting into that convenient little pocket of stereotype everyone wants to be in is enough for some people to reject you, and that's stupid. *sorryaboutmyADDsubjectchanges,but...yah.Seriously.*)

Other writing/thoughts of writing influences:

-That one email that inspired "Haunted"
-My personal life (Random events)
-My friends' personal lives *DON'TSHOOTME!* *hides*
-Life in general
-"Political" issues (the kind of stuff that would influence voters in the 'run' this year; things like abortion, gay rights, etc., etc. *pro-life,ibelievepeoplearepeople,fetusesareahumanlife,peoplesin,peopleMAKECHOICES,and...probablyrepublican.*sigh**)
-People around me
-'The issues' (a few of them listed in 'political issues', which, they may be the same, but... I'm gonna just make this seperate. Things like drugs, abuse, other addictions, teen pregnancy, etc. )
-Mental disorders
-GOD

My faith really is at the core. I accept that there is darkness in the world, and that's something that needs to change. I realize things, I am aware. And I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross to save us from this darkness, our sins. I believe in redemption. All the unwritten endings in my mind aren't entirely unhappy. They're endings that end with hope and redemption and faith and love. And like in real life, though it's difficult for me to do at times, not all characters have the happiest endings. If I actually got to writing, there is that light... in the darkness. My characters will not end up miserable forever. They relapse, yes, they get stressed out, they get depressed, but their desire to change, their efforts, they are not in vain in the end. I like triumphant endings. I like happy endings. I LOVE "happily ever afters". And I believe everyone can have a happy ending, if they put their faith in Him and do His will.

My problem in writing truly is discipline; it's not as though I lack inspiration. Truly, every little thing can be an inspiration to me. I just need to get working at it, work harder, try harder, do what the english teacher says about adjectives and adverbs and spelling and organization and all that... take every little thing to improve my writing seriously.

God Bless you all. :) Love ya!

- Aly

Writer's Block and Music tastes of years passed up until now

I think I'm going to try and write some more stories, so I can get my writing juices all mixed together. I may eventually, also, make a seperate blog just for stories, original/fanfiction, etc.


However, I have discovered another bout of writer's block. o.ee

My english teacher said:

"Good writers write what they know."

o.e

Yey what I know...

*sigh* Last time I wrote something half-decent, that wasn't roleplaying, was on the Mission Trip with Rose... we developed a tradition of writing stories together when we wrote a fanfiction together, Avatar: The Last Airbender/Teen Titans crossover... good tiiimes.

I used to always write fanfiction. Anyway, that story was about a boy named Hisoka, and a girl who also had a Japanese name that I don't remember at the moment... *sigh* It sounded pretty interesting, but we didn't finish, as we had several times before. Pshyah. Whenever I wrote/write with Rose, I write. I'm good. It's like... she's a muse, or something, xD

Weird, but true, at times.

Back then, we stole her iPod a lot. Favorite music back during sixth grade, was Evanescence, Avril Lavigne, and Nickelback, I do believe. Lots of pop stuff too, but the good Pop, Pop Rock, like Kelly Clarkson. Back then I was waaay tolerant to radio most of the time, though, also. I memorized certain Fergie and Black Eyed Peas songs of the radio... o.e interesting times.

7th grade was kind of more stuff like Linkin Park and Simple Plan and Good Charlotte, MCR, some more soft rock-y stuff, like Coldplay, also. Lots of other stuff too. Less tolerance to rap/hip-hop, and I just kinda stopped listening to it...

Lately, I've been listening to quite a bit of Flyleaf, Relient K again (their new stuff), Coldplay, Casting Crowns. Those are my most frequently-listened-to bands at the moment...

I'm bored/depressedish due to something I've discovered/missing Rose, but better now that she ish on teh phone wiff me...

God Bless, guys. :)

I have a snapvine.+random stuffs

Snapvine-

http://www.snapvine.com/profile/R14mGvX1EdyBiAAwSFsPiA

^That es me.

Anyway... yeah. *sigh* I have many unnecessary and random voice blogs+voice blogs that aren't random and unnecessary... but whateverz. I like recording cuz you don't have to type anything, even though I'm not that bad a typer.

I'm going to write up a song/freeverse poem (again) (MY FIRST POST BREAK-UP SONG, EGAD! about... erm... "Mark". *sigh*

I wish you were here
When I watched the sunset tonight
It's a beautiful thing, something that God definitely made
I know it's hard to have faith sometimes, but it's what the world needs
It's what we all need
I wish you knew
How much you mean to me
I wish that I could take away your pain and confusion
I know that the Lord can
But I wish that I could do something more
I wish that you didn't feel like you were going to collapse under stress
I wish you didn't have any stress
It's a selfish thing, really
How much I wish you were here
Maybe it's just for me
Maybe it's for you
I want you near me
And I want to be near you
I still love you...
Humans are imperfect
And even with your 'flaws'
I still love you
I wish you were here tonight
I wish I could hold you
I wish that we would have kissed
Just one more time
Maybe we should've stayed in the church library
And done that one last time
So my first kiss didn't have to be my last with you
I thank you for giving that to me
'Surest Petal' became true
I still haven't forgotten the little things you said and did.
I still haven't forgotten your resemblence to the guy I dreamed about
I still haven't forgotten you.
I still care
I still love you
I know you have a heart, I know that you're not guilty
I know that this isn't your fault, and whatever's going on, it will end
There's a little at the end of every tunnel.
Put your faith in God
He loves you and he's here for you.
He's waiting for your call.
And I'm not more significant
But I'm still here too
I'm waiting for you
Patiently
And if you never talk to me again
Please don't forget what's most important in your life.

*sings* I miss you......


And there's my song/freeverse poem that I could possibly make into a song. *sighz* Thassall for tonight.