Here I am, procrastinating my Sunday School assignment. But for mostly good reason. Tonight, was great. And once again, an apology for never posting on this blog. But I saw this movie to night, and I kind of feel like my faith is getting revitalized. Like this is what God wants from me. He wants me to just listen, and just reach out to people. Not to bring them down, not to interrupt them, not to judge, not to anything, but just reach out. Just be a friend. Just to care and to love... and that's what He did, that's what He's calling us to do. Tonight really made that concrete, just watching that movie. Just hanging out with those friends and classmates and youth group buddies and volunteering at that daycare-ish center after school on Friday, it's just... all about love and reaching out. This is it. This is IT, this is what God wants us to do, who He wants us to be. And it's all so clear now.
I can stop focusing on my sins and shortcomings and focus on Him. I can focus on what He's called me to do now. I can work hard on my schoolwork, and I can reach out and I can be a friend, we can all make a difference, in His name, and for everyone in the world.
If you ever get the chance, at any point, see the film "To Save a Life". It is incredible. It might just change your life, or your perspective on everything, or just put everything back into focus. Please see this movie if you can. Please. I guarentee, you will not be disappointed. And I'm not trying to advertise the thing, and it wasn't absolutely perfect, but it has a message and it has an impact. God bless, everyone. Good night, and I love you all.
-Aly
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Some sort of poemishvent thing. (a test for myself)
Identity
These days I wonder
Where did my heart go?
Where did my empathy go?
Where did my faith go?
When did this attitude of selfishness, coarseness come from?
When did I turn into this person?
When did my caring die?
When did every thought turn into me?
Where did my selflessness go?
When did I become this person?
When did I start to make excuses?
When did I start apologizing just to make me seem better?
When did I turn into this person?
Where did my heart go?
When did I become the kind of person I'd like to hit?
When did I get so violent?
When did I get so coarse and cruel?
When did I get so ignorant?
When did I lose it?
When did I stop caring?
When did I become all about me?
When did I drain my friendships of substance?
When did my fiction become more important than real life?
When did I stop caring?
When did I become this person?
How could I start a new year as this person?
How could I think about those things?
How come God still forgives me?
Still wants me, still loves me?
How could anyone if they really knew every thought within me?
How is it possible?
Somehow, it is,
He tells me
Somehow, God still loves me.
Somehow, the incredible people
He's placed in my life
Still love me.
Somehow.
God knows me, all of me, and still loves me.
Love you. Loves all of us.
No matter what.
All I know,
Is that my life must be realigned,
Maybe it will be painful,
But my life must be changed.
My dreams, my goals, my passions,
Should all be His.
All of me.
I won't be missing,
I won't be someone I don't know, someone I'd love to hate,
Anymore.
Because of His love, and His grace.
These days I wonder
Where did my heart go?
Where did my empathy go?
Where did my faith go?
When did this attitude of selfishness, coarseness come from?
When did I turn into this person?
When did my caring die?
When did every thought turn into me?
Where did my selflessness go?
When did I become this person?
When did I start to make excuses?
When did I start apologizing just to make me seem better?
When did I turn into this person?
Where did my heart go?
When did I become the kind of person I'd like to hit?
When did I get so violent?
When did I get so coarse and cruel?
When did I get so ignorant?
When did I lose it?
When did I stop caring?
When did I become all about me?
When did I drain my friendships of substance?
When did my fiction become more important than real life?
When did I stop caring?
When did I become this person?
How could I start a new year as this person?
How could I think about those things?
How come God still forgives me?
Still wants me, still loves me?
How could anyone if they really knew every thought within me?
How is it possible?
Somehow, it is,
He tells me
Somehow, God still loves me.
Somehow, the incredible people
He's placed in my life
Still love me.
Somehow.
God knows me, all of me, and still loves me.
Love you. Loves all of us.
No matter what.
All I know,
Is that my life must be realigned,
Maybe it will be painful,
But my life must be changed.
My dreams, my goals, my passions,
Should all be His.
All of me.
I won't be missing,
I won't be someone I don't know, someone I'd love to hate,
Anymore.
Because of His love, and His grace.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Happy New Year, here's a pathetic, mentally third-grader's vent.
((I'm really sorry for not updating. Everything's semi-anonymous just so I can get this off my chest. Happy New Year's, everyone.))
I must be a clingy child. I mean, it doesn't bother me when my best friend does stuff with her other friend, but with our other best friend? And not even think to include me? Why can't I just let it go?
I said I wanted to go see that movie with the two of them, even though I've already seen it. I SAID it to both of them. I mean, they live fifteen miles away, and it's cold out, and my dad was already in Rochester, and I just HAD to sleep in... gosh. And I mean, I couldn't force any of my friend to pick me up, because that would just be intruding. I'm not jealous, I'm just upset that they didn't even think to include me. Sometimes things don't work out, but... gosh, I'm acting like a child. I really am. Why should this matter? They live a ways away, and they never get to hang out with just the two of them... why can't I just leave them alone?
The thing is, about the internet, is I can fake that I'm fine but not really be it. But I told one friend how I really felt, and the other, I just gave one-word replies. Gosh, I'm so pathetic. I'm just gonna have to let this go. There's nothing that I could've done about it and it's not worth my getting upset over.
But that doesn't mean I'm still not upset about it. I don't like holding grudges, and in my selfish state, I see there are ways I could've gone, but my parents don't want to go into town cuz it's too cold, and the roads are probably dangerous. And I guess it's all just a matter of selfishness. I'm still not too happy, though. :-/
--------------
On New Year's Eve, I went to Rock the Clock. And it was awesome. The three bands I saw: Claret (amazing), Benson Wells (okay, but still good), and my favoriteish of the night, Camera Can't Lie (though we had to leave early when they came on. D:). Most of this time in between bands was spent dancing caffeinated, playing Band Hero (which is amazing) and talking and stuff.
One of the most surprising things was, however, that, after I halfway-joked that being in a band of some sort was one of my New Year's resolutions, "Sam 1" invited me, "Macy", and (I forgot what her codename was...) "Kay" to be in a band with him. I know he's only been playing guitar for a few months, but Macy's been playing bass forever, and Kay has the most incredible voice. If something actually comes out of this band attempt (I've been a few failed ones, most of them never got to the first meeting), I'd say she deserves lead vocalist. I'd say her gift calls for lead EVERYTHING if it comes to singing. But I still want to be a part, so I'll try to make good backup/lyrics (Macy and Sam 1 also have written songs, but I'll try to be useful), and maybe relearn piano so I could play a keyboard. Though what he said we really need is a synthesizer. I think that'd be cool too.
I'm hoping this works out. I'm not as serious about this as I could be, but I will be serious if I know this will be serious.
Anyway, resolutions:
1. Make my life right with God. Really, really, put my whole heart into my relationships with Him and focus on Him. Read His Word, and follow His plans, listen for Him, and most of all, act. Be loving, be compassionate. Listen. Do good. Imitate the fruits of the spirit until they are natural to me.
2. Finish "Interference" (my nanowrimo novel)
3. Be more sensitive. About everything. I personally think I've been too coarse lately about everything.
4. Be less inappropriate. (Something I really need to work on).
5. Let people talk.
6. Get on an exercise regimen. (Even if you say I'm skinny, I still need to get off my lazy butt and do something.)
7. Talk like it's 2 in the morning all the time.
8. Talk to all my friends.
9. Be more grateful, less moody, and less agressive. (really, these are a problem for me. T.T)
10. Live by the so-called motto: Love God and love others. Let your love of Him flow over to everyone around you.
Sorry I missed everything. D: Anyway, really late Merry Christmas, and really late Happy Thanksgiving. <3 I'm thankful for all of my friends who put up with my childishness and obnoxiousness and everythingelseness, my wonderful family who also has to do that and, like my friends, always support me. I thank the genuine people who actually correct me when I'm wrong instead of letting me go off and say stupid things, and my most wonderful boyfriend, Nathaniel. :) He is the most wonderful guy, and I am so blessed to have such a loving person like him by my side.
And most importantly, I thank God for this incredible year, and this incredible life of mine. Without Him, I am nothing.
And thank you to those who still find time to read this neglected piece of fail. ^^'
2009 was a good year. I'm hoping 2010 will go just as well, if not better. Thank you, Lord, for one more year. I love you all, and God bless.
I said I wanted to go see that movie with the two of them, even though I've already seen it. I SAID it to both of them. I mean, they live fifteen miles away, and it's cold out, and my dad was already in Rochester, and I just HAD to sleep in... gosh. And I mean, I couldn't force any of my friend to pick me up, because that would just be intruding. I'm not jealous, I'm just upset that they didn't even think to include me. Sometimes things don't work out, but... gosh, I'm acting like a child. I really am. Why should this matter? They live a ways away, and they never get to hang out with just the two of them... why can't I just leave them alone?
The thing is, about the internet, is I can fake that I'm fine but not really be it. But I told one friend how I really felt, and the other, I just gave one-word replies. Gosh, I'm so pathetic. I'm just gonna have to let this go. There's nothing that I could've done about it and it's not worth my getting upset over.
But that doesn't mean I'm still not upset about it. I don't like holding grudges, and in my selfish state, I see there are ways I could've gone, but my parents don't want to go into town cuz it's too cold, and the roads are probably dangerous. And I guess it's all just a matter of selfishness. I'm still not too happy, though. :-/
--------------
On New Year's Eve, I went to Rock the Clock. And it was awesome. The three bands I saw: Claret (amazing), Benson Wells (okay, but still good), and my favoriteish of the night, Camera Can't Lie (though we had to leave early when they came on. D:). Most of this time in between bands was spent dancing caffeinated, playing Band Hero (which is amazing) and talking and stuff.
One of the most surprising things was, however, that, after I halfway-joked that being in a band of some sort was one of my New Year's resolutions, "Sam 1" invited me, "Macy", and (I forgot what her codename was...) "Kay" to be in a band with him. I know he's only been playing guitar for a few months, but Macy's been playing bass forever, and Kay has the most incredible voice. If something actually comes out of this band attempt (I've been a few failed ones, most of them never got to the first meeting), I'd say she deserves lead vocalist. I'd say her gift calls for lead EVERYTHING if it comes to singing. But I still want to be a part, so I'll try to make good backup/lyrics (Macy and Sam 1 also have written songs, but I'll try to be useful), and maybe relearn piano so I could play a keyboard. Though what he said we really need is a synthesizer. I think that'd be cool too.
I'm hoping this works out. I'm not as serious about this as I could be, but I will be serious if I know this will be serious.
Anyway, resolutions:
1. Make my life right with God. Really, really, put my whole heart into my relationships with Him and focus on Him. Read His Word, and follow His plans, listen for Him, and most of all, act. Be loving, be compassionate. Listen. Do good. Imitate the fruits of the spirit until they are natural to me.
2. Finish "Interference" (my nanowrimo novel)
3. Be more sensitive. About everything. I personally think I've been too coarse lately about everything.
4. Be less inappropriate. (Something I really need to work on).
5. Let people talk.
6. Get on an exercise regimen. (Even if you say I'm skinny, I still need to get off my lazy butt and do something.)
7. Talk like it's 2 in the morning all the time.
8. Talk to all my friends.
9. Be more grateful, less moody, and less agressive. (really, these are a problem for me. T.T)
10. Live by the so-called motto: Love God and love others. Let your love of Him flow over to everyone around you.
Sorry I missed everything. D: Anyway, really late Merry Christmas, and really late Happy Thanksgiving. <3 I'm thankful for all of my friends who put up with my childishness and obnoxiousness and everythingelseness, my wonderful family who also has to do that and, like my friends, always support me. I thank the genuine people who actually correct me when I'm wrong instead of letting me go off and say stupid things, and my most wonderful boyfriend, Nathaniel. :) He is the most wonderful guy, and I am so blessed to have such a loving person like him by my side.
And most importantly, I thank God for this incredible year, and this incredible life of mine. Without Him, I am nothing.
And thank you to those who still find time to read this neglected piece of fail. ^^'
2009 was a good year. I'm hoping 2010 will go just as well, if not better. Thank you, Lord, for one more year. I love you all, and God bless.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
June 2009 (highlights; next blog-July 2009, after that, August; big surprise there. xD)
I'll just summarize a few of the significant events in my summer. :)
June
A week before the girls' cabin trip, I went over to Ella's and slept over. It was rather fun. I remember that we watched this one episode of the X-Files, where Sculley and Mulder went to this house haunted by this older ghost couple that gets their kicks out of causing every couple that enters the house (that has the same-looking room in it, no matter what door you travel through, once you get past the entrance) to have their same fate--driven to the point where they kill themselves, or having the ghosts kill them, don't really remember. Now, it sounds intense, but the ghost couple themselves were somewhat humorous. Yet there were a couple of moments... yeah. Good episode. I remember Ella and I talked about stuff and then danced around to Lady Gaga's CD. XD That was really fun. I enjoyed hanging out with her.
The next weekend, I went on the Girls Get-a-way, a trip up to a cabin of one of the family's of a girl in my youth group, held on the same "weekend" (Thursday-Sunday) as the boys big camping trip... I think it was at the Boundary Waters. Anyway, it was awesome. We went tubing and kayaking, and bike riding, ate dinner at this nice pizza place and hung out with the girls telling stories and roasting marshmallows on the fire every night. Ella came with me there, and I think most of us had a great time, except for a girl who went home sick, and the one who had one of her dogs put down while we were there. Her dad (because they owned the cabin, and he was staying there a couple days) took her home when he went home. On the way back, we stopped at a Culver's for food, and Ella and I tanned on the front sidewalk of the restaurant. xD It was rather fun.
Various times during the summer, I caught up with a friend, that I've mentioned before, but don't remember her codename... anyway, I caught up with her on little bike rides over the summer, and that was pretty fun. I also hung out with "Macy" after church a few times, also fun. Later in the summer, I went to the pool and the mall with a girl from school, and I've become a little bit closer to her, which I'm glad that I have.
Another big highlight of my summer was another sleepover-one with Leah and Montana. For in-depth detail on that one:
http://iwillbitethephonetoproveitsharmless.blogspot.com/2009/06/sleepover-and-various-weekend-epicness.html
We went out to the river, watched Phantom of the Opera, and the Dark Knight. We recorded singing on Snapvine, and stayed up late. XD It was pretty darn awesome. :) Then Leah stayed the rest of the weekend. xD Pretty fun times for all of us.
Wow, I can't believe it was June 28... o.O That's pretty insanium in the cranium, dawg. Well, that's the highlights of June. :)
June
A week before the girls' cabin trip, I went over to Ella's and slept over. It was rather fun. I remember that we watched this one episode of the X-Files, where Sculley and Mulder went to this house haunted by this older ghost couple that gets their kicks out of causing every couple that enters the house (that has the same-looking room in it, no matter what door you travel through, once you get past the entrance) to have their same fate--driven to the point where they kill themselves, or having the ghosts kill them, don't really remember. Now, it sounds intense, but the ghost couple themselves were somewhat humorous. Yet there were a couple of moments... yeah. Good episode. I remember Ella and I talked about stuff and then danced around to Lady Gaga's CD. XD That was really fun. I enjoyed hanging out with her.
The next weekend, I went on the Girls Get-a-way, a trip up to a cabin of one of the family's of a girl in my youth group, held on the same "weekend" (Thursday-Sunday) as the boys big camping trip... I think it was at the Boundary Waters. Anyway, it was awesome. We went tubing and kayaking, and bike riding, ate dinner at this nice pizza place and hung out with the girls telling stories and roasting marshmallows on the fire every night. Ella came with me there, and I think most of us had a great time, except for a girl who went home sick, and the one who had one of her dogs put down while we were there. Her dad (because they owned the cabin, and he was staying there a couple days) took her home when he went home. On the way back, we stopped at a Culver's for food, and Ella and I tanned on the front sidewalk of the restaurant. xD It was rather fun.
Various times during the summer, I caught up with a friend, that I've mentioned before, but don't remember her codename... anyway, I caught up with her on little bike rides over the summer, and that was pretty fun. I also hung out with "Macy" after church a few times, also fun. Later in the summer, I went to the pool and the mall with a girl from school, and I've become a little bit closer to her, which I'm glad that I have.
Another big highlight of my summer was another sleepover-one with Leah and Montana. For in-depth detail on that one:
http://iwillbitethephonetoproveitsharmless.blogspot.com/2009/06/sleepover-and-various-weekend-epicness.html
We went out to the river, watched Phantom of the Opera, and the Dark Knight. We recorded singing on Snapvine, and stayed up late. XD It was pretty darn awesome. :) Then Leah stayed the rest of the weekend. xD Pretty fun times for all of us.
Wow, I can't believe it was June 28... o.O That's pretty insanium in the cranium, dawg. Well, that's the highlights of June. :)
An attempt to revive... (ventish. I'm sorry. :( ) You don't have to read.
I am so, so, so, so, SO, incredibly sorry that I haven't been updating lately. And I'll do special posts on my first week of school and summer at... some point. :-/ I'm really sorry. I'll try to generalize some stuff here. Thanks for watching my blog, though, you guys are so great. And if you haven't been... ^^' Well, I totally and completely understand.
Things have been fairly easy for me the past three days, and tommorrow, I leave school in the middle of the day to go on a trip to Wisconsin Dells with my family, and that'll be fun.
But I know a few people I'm sure don't have it that easy.
I'm wondering if my end-of-summer fears are becoming true. Except, there are no problems with school for me yet. I just... when I come home, I continue researching whatever I feel like that day, I keep on questioning, and sometimes I have negative thoughts about myself and my body, yet starting phy ed today has me quite reassured. But I need more than that in exercise.
And I'm so, so focused on myself. I need to get rid of that. And look at me complaining about me when I could be talking about more interesting and less self-depreceating (sp?) like summer and the first days of school... and maybe even my friends. I mean... *sigh*
I wish I could really help some, I mean, there are things that they're going through, that might not be as intense as I've heard from them or my other ones before, but I know a couple of them are pretty stressed out.
I'm so selfish when it comes to stuff. When I should be quiet and supportive, I'm talkative and overly peppy. When I know there are more important things in someone's life, all I want is for things to go back to the way they were. And possibly, they never will. I'm so, so selfish. Some of you may know, but I save so many tears for guilt. Maybe when they should be for someone else's pain. Rather than what may or may not be my own justified guilt.
But I'm scared. Of losing what I already have, I'm always scared of losing people, but usually, I'm scared of people dying. Some times during this summer, that fear consumed my thoughts. I had two dreams, one where someone very close to me, someone in my family, was dying, and another, where my principal died, and I was returning to school, the summer afterwards, and just hearing the news.
I could write an entire blog post about that, but this is different. Now, I'm fearing the loss of living people. I hated reading Melody Carlson's "Dark Blue" because it was just hard to read. The girl might have been misinterpreting a lot from her friend, and overreacting a little, but the concept, drifting apart from your best friend, it was painful. "Wintergirls" by Laurie Halse Anderson was painful, utterly painful, because it dealt with the negative pressures the girls put on each other, and their ultimate seperation.
I can't live paralyzed by fear, and I have give everything up to God, but I just hate considering... certain possibilities. I'm just so, too, dependent on people sometimes... on relationships sometimes... okay, all the time. I'll be downright honest, I am so utterly dependent on relationships. And on routines I have. And I can be pretty dang pathetic and insensitive a lot when it comes to some things and I just can't stand it most times. I acknowledge my behavior, but sometimes I wonder if I can change. I know I can, in God's strength. But I need help. I need His help. Through God I can do all things. And in His strength I can do anything. But I have to trust Him. I have to. My faith is key in everything I do, GOD is key in everything I do... God is always here.
Believers, if you could pray for my friends, I'm not going to go into detail about them, because I have several friends who need help with several things, if possible. And thank you all my readers for your support and readership. God bless you all. Love you all. Thanks so much again.
Things have been fairly easy for me the past three days, and tommorrow, I leave school in the middle of the day to go on a trip to Wisconsin Dells with my family, and that'll be fun.
But I know a few people I'm sure don't have it that easy.
I'm wondering if my end-of-summer fears are becoming true. Except, there are no problems with school for me yet. I just... when I come home, I continue researching whatever I feel like that day, I keep on questioning, and sometimes I have negative thoughts about myself and my body, yet starting phy ed today has me quite reassured. But I need more than that in exercise.
And I'm so, so focused on myself. I need to get rid of that. And look at me complaining about me when I could be talking about more interesting and less self-depreceating (sp?) like summer and the first days of school... and maybe even my friends. I mean... *sigh*
I wish I could really help some, I mean, there are things that they're going through, that might not be as intense as I've heard from them or my other ones before, but I know a couple of them are pretty stressed out.
I'm so selfish when it comes to stuff. When I should be quiet and supportive, I'm talkative and overly peppy. When I know there are more important things in someone's life, all I want is for things to go back to the way they were. And possibly, they never will. I'm so, so selfish. Some of you may know, but I save so many tears for guilt. Maybe when they should be for someone else's pain. Rather than what may or may not be my own justified guilt.
But I'm scared. Of losing what I already have, I'm always scared of losing people, but usually, I'm scared of people dying. Some times during this summer, that fear consumed my thoughts. I had two dreams, one where someone very close to me, someone in my family, was dying, and another, where my principal died, and I was returning to school, the summer afterwards, and just hearing the news.
I could write an entire blog post about that, but this is different. Now, I'm fearing the loss of living people. I hated reading Melody Carlson's "Dark Blue" because it was just hard to read. The girl might have been misinterpreting a lot from her friend, and overreacting a little, but the concept, drifting apart from your best friend, it was painful. "Wintergirls" by Laurie Halse Anderson was painful, utterly painful, because it dealt with the negative pressures the girls put on each other, and their ultimate seperation.
I can't live paralyzed by fear, and I have give everything up to God, but I just hate considering... certain possibilities. I'm just so, too, dependent on people sometimes... on relationships sometimes... okay, all the time. I'll be downright honest, I am so utterly dependent on relationships. And on routines I have. And I can be pretty dang pathetic and insensitive a lot when it comes to some things and I just can't stand it most times. I acknowledge my behavior, but sometimes I wonder if I can change. I know I can, in God's strength. But I need help. I need His help. Through God I can do all things. And in His strength I can do anything. But I have to trust Him. I have to. My faith is key in everything I do, GOD is key in everything I do... God is always here.
Believers, if you could pray for my friends, I'm not going to go into detail about them, because I have several friends who need help with several things, if possible. And thank you all my readers for your support and readership. God bless you all. Love you all. Thanks so much again.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Because of my neglectfulness and laziness...
http://www.snapvine.com/sb/d426684c8b4911dea02d0030485b0f88?user=475e261af5f511dc81880030485b0f88
Snapvine for my blog post. Some of it got scratchy, so I apologize, but yeah. :( Thanks guys for following this even though I'm the WORST blog updater on the face of the planet... o.O
ILY all! God bless! :) I hope you guys have a great rest-of-the-summer!
Snapvine for my blog post. Some of it got scratchy, so I apologize, but yeah. :( Thanks guys for following this even though I'm the WORST blog updater on the face of the planet... o.O
ILY all! God bless! :) I hope you guys have a great rest-of-the-summer!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Music-y-stolen thingy. (I GOT TOO MANY SERIOUS AND NON-AWKWARD ONES. xP)
(This was originally on Levi's blog, then on Dibsy's blog, but I must give credit to Levi for his coolness in posting this. 8) YOU ARE AWESOME!)
((I may have songs that are a little too poppish on my Windows Media Player for your guys' taste, so I apologize. D: Also, because you probably won't know of her, when she shows up in this: http://www.jillpearsonmusic.com/ Jill Pearson, who attends my church, who sings and writes amazingly, and is overall awesome. :) You can listen to some of her songs and look at the lyrics of all of them there.))
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down
If someone says "Is this Okay?" You say:
"Photograph" by Nickelback (...Okay then. Lol. That's a bit of a rant for "Is this okay?"...)
How would you describe yourself?
"This is What It Means to Love" by Jill Pearson (A bit of an ego there, title-wise, I must have... *jk*)
What do you like in a guy/girl?
"Far Away"-Nickelback (I don't like to be far away from people... :( But that's okay. It's a good, romantic, song, so I guess it works. :) ILY Nattie. <3)
How do you feel today?
"My, Oh My, What a Miracle"- Jill Pearson (I wish. :( )
What's your life purpose?
"Fall to Pieces"- Avril Lavigne (Lovely... xP )
What do your friends think of you?
Say (All I Need)- OneRepublic (I guess it... could... sort of maybe fit? o.o)
What do your parents think of you?
Innocence- Avril Lavigne (Great... heheheh... they are clueless. *jk*)
What do you often think about?
Nothing in this World- Hoku (Lovely. A post break-up song. *sigh* I don't think so...)
What do you think about the person you like?
Who Knew~ P!nk ( :( Sadness. )
What is your life's story?
Living Water~ Jill Pearson (I think that's a good thing... ^^)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
High School~ Superchick (I hope I'm more grown up than that... though I might not be, sadly. :-/ )
What will you dance to at your wedding?
All at Once- The Fray (I suppose that's okay. I hope my future husband and I are sure about each other... )
What will they play at your funeral?
Turn My Heart~ Jill Pearson (Saddish. :( Hopefully my heart will be focused where it should be then. No... it will be. Thank you, Lord.)
What is your biggest fear?
Contagious~ Avril Lavigne (.-. Well, obsessive relationships are usually a problem... but this could be genuine in the song... yeah, it probably is... maybe... gah. I don't really fear that though...)
What is your biggest secret?
Princes and Frogs- Superchick (O.O I am not a boy, if that's what it's saying...)
What is your future going to be like?
Chocolate~ Jill Pearson (XDDDD)
What do you see in the person you like?
We Will Follow the Sun~ Hoku (Sure, why not. xD :) ILY, Nattie, again. <3 )
What will the song be for you and your spouse?
Runaway- Avril Lavigne (I hope not...)
---This is where the original one I found stops, but I'ma keep going with another one I just found. I'm having too much fun doing this. I have to do this more.---Levi
Will you get far in life?
Four in the Morning~ Gwen Stefani (...Um, what exactly does that mean? o.o)
Will you get married?
The Best D*mn Thing~ Avril Lavigne (What does that mean? I hope it's a yes... I wanna get married. D: :( )
What is your best friend's theme song?
Savin' Me~ Nickelback (Leah... is there something you're not telling me about? )
What was high school like?
Pure~ Superchick (I hope so...)
How can you get ahead in life?
Franklin~ Paramore (FINALLY! A Paramore song! :D Anyway... Sounds kind of melancholy. So I should stay in my town? o.O)
What is the best thing about your friends?
At the Corners~ Jill Pearson (Awww... you guys are awesome. :) )
What is in store for this weekend?
Songs with Wings~ Jill Pearson (Sounds good to me.)
To describe your grandparents?
So Bright (Stand Up)-Superchick (I don't know my grandparents very well... but I suppose that's goodish... sounds like something a grandparent might tell their grandchild maybe if they were doing stuff that isn't so great...)
How is your life going?
This is my Friend- Jill Pearson (AWESOME! Amen to that.)
How does the world see you?
We Live~ Superchick (Happy.)
Will you have a happy life?
God of Hope~ Jill Pearson (Amen to that.)
Do people secretly lust after you?
My Heart~ Paramore (People secretly want to give their heart to me? o.o)
How can I make myself happy?
Hundred~ The Fray (But that's a MELANCHOLY song... :( )
What should you do with your life?
Restore~ Jill Pearson (I suppose that's goodish.)
Will you ever have children?
Beautiful Offering~ Jill Pearson (o.o I think that's a yes... yay!)
If a man in a van offered you candy, what would you do?
It's On~ Superchick (XD)
What does your mum think of you?
Anything but Ordinary~ Avril Lavigne (I suppose that's a good thing... I am anything but ordinary. *jk* XD :) Thank you... mom?)
What is your deep dark secret?
Vienna~ The Fray (What's that supposed to mean?! o.o)
What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
What I've Done~ Linkin Park (Well, at least whoever my mortal enemy is won't be my mortal enemy forever...)
What's your personality like?
Lying for You~ Linkin Park (Oh joy. o.ee. Two Linkin Park songs in a row... o.o)
What's your motto?
Can God Live in a Broken Heart- Jill Pearson (Okay. God can live in a broken heart...)
What do you think about often?
She Is~ The Fray (Ummm... maybe? o.ee Probably not. I don't think of girls that way... maybe my friends...)
What do you want right now?
You First Believed~ Hoku (Sure.)
((Wow, I'm done. D: No super-awkward ones. Which is sadness. *sigh* But still goodish, I suppose. I wish YouTube had a shuffle button on playlists... that would work waaaaaay better. XD :)
((I may have songs that are a little too poppish on my Windows Media Player for your guys' taste, so I apologize. D: Also, because you probably won't know of her, when she shows up in this: http://www.jillpearsonmusic.com/ Jill Pearson, who attends my church, who sings and writes amazingly, and is overall awesome. :) You can listen to some of her songs and look at the lyrics of all of them there.))
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down
If someone says "Is this Okay?" You say:
"Photograph" by Nickelback (...Okay then. Lol. That's a bit of a rant for "Is this okay?"...)
How would you describe yourself?
"This is What It Means to Love" by Jill Pearson (A bit of an ego there, title-wise, I must have... *jk*)
What do you like in a guy/girl?
"Far Away"-Nickelback (I don't like to be far away from people... :( But that's okay. It's a good, romantic, song, so I guess it works. :) ILY Nattie. <3)
How do you feel today?
"My, Oh My, What a Miracle"- Jill Pearson (I wish. :( )
What's your life purpose?
"Fall to Pieces"- Avril Lavigne (Lovely... xP )
What do your friends think of you?
Say (All I Need)- OneRepublic (I guess it... could... sort of maybe fit? o.o)
What do your parents think of you?
Innocence- Avril Lavigne (Great... heheheh... they are clueless. *jk*)
What do you often think about?
Nothing in this World- Hoku (Lovely. A post break-up song. *sigh* I don't think so...)
What do you think about the person you like?
Who Knew~ P!nk ( :( Sadness. )
What is your life's story?
Living Water~ Jill Pearson (I think that's a good thing... ^^)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
High School~ Superchick (I hope I'm more grown up than that... though I might not be, sadly. :-/ )
What will you dance to at your wedding?
All at Once- The Fray (I suppose that's okay. I hope my future husband and I are sure about each other... )
What will they play at your funeral?
Turn My Heart~ Jill Pearson (Saddish. :( Hopefully my heart will be focused where it should be then. No... it will be. Thank you, Lord.)
What is your biggest fear?
Contagious~ Avril Lavigne (.-. Well, obsessive relationships are usually a problem... but this could be genuine in the song... yeah, it probably is... maybe... gah. I don't really fear that though...)
What is your biggest secret?
Princes and Frogs- Superchick (O.O I am not a boy, if that's what it's saying...)
What is your future going to be like?
Chocolate~ Jill Pearson (XDDDD)
What do you see in the person you like?
We Will Follow the Sun~ Hoku (Sure, why not. xD :) ILY, Nattie, again. <3 )
What will the song be for you and your spouse?
Runaway- Avril Lavigne (I hope not...)
---This is where the original one I found stops, but I'ma keep going with another one I just found. I'm having too much fun doing this. I have to do this more.---Levi
Will you get far in life?
Four in the Morning~ Gwen Stefani (...Um, what exactly does that mean? o.o)
Will you get married?
The Best D*mn Thing~ Avril Lavigne (What does that mean? I hope it's a yes... I wanna get married. D: :( )
What is your best friend's theme song?
Savin' Me~ Nickelback (Leah... is there something you're not telling me about? )
What was high school like?
Pure~ Superchick (I hope so...)
How can you get ahead in life?
Franklin~ Paramore (FINALLY! A Paramore song! :D Anyway... Sounds kind of melancholy. So I should stay in my town? o.O)
What is the best thing about your friends?
At the Corners~ Jill Pearson (Awww... you guys are awesome. :) )
What is in store for this weekend?
Songs with Wings~ Jill Pearson (Sounds good to me.)
To describe your grandparents?
So Bright (Stand Up)-Superchick (I don't know my grandparents very well... but I suppose that's goodish... sounds like something a grandparent might tell their grandchild maybe if they were doing stuff that isn't so great...)
How is your life going?
This is my Friend- Jill Pearson (AWESOME! Amen to that.)
How does the world see you?
We Live~ Superchick (Happy.)
Will you have a happy life?
God of Hope~ Jill Pearson (Amen to that.)
Do people secretly lust after you?
My Heart~ Paramore (People secretly want to give their heart to me? o.o)
How can I make myself happy?
Hundred~ The Fray (But that's a MELANCHOLY song... :( )
What should you do with your life?
Restore~ Jill Pearson (I suppose that's goodish.)
Will you ever have children?
Beautiful Offering~ Jill Pearson (o.o I think that's a yes... yay!)
If a man in a van offered you candy, what would you do?
It's On~ Superchick (XD)
What does your mum think of you?
Anything but Ordinary~ Avril Lavigne (I suppose that's a good thing... I am anything but ordinary. *jk* XD :) Thank you... mom?)
What is your deep dark secret?
Vienna~ The Fray (What's that supposed to mean?! o.o)
What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
What I've Done~ Linkin Park (Well, at least whoever my mortal enemy is won't be my mortal enemy forever...)
What's your personality like?
Lying for You~ Linkin Park (Oh joy. o.ee. Two Linkin Park songs in a row... o.o)
What's your motto?
Can God Live in a Broken Heart- Jill Pearson (Okay. God can live in a broken heart...)
What do you think about often?
She Is~ The Fray (Ummm... maybe? o.ee Probably not. I don't think of girls that way... maybe my friends...)
What do you want right now?
You First Believed~ Hoku (Sure.)
((Wow, I'm done. D: No super-awkward ones. Which is sadness. *sigh* But still goodish, I suppose. I wish YouTube had a shuffle button on playlists... that would work waaaaaay better. XD :)
(reflection-y-rant-thing; probably serious) ...a person, not a problem.
That's what I'm trying to remind myself. Now that I think of it, that saying up there could be applied to a lot of things. Like one of the issues I seem to care so much about. Man, so many thought... just tumbling into another... It's always hard to focus on what I originally wanted to write about, once I get a thought-snowball like that.
I think I'll seperate my character flaws/whatever I should call them/negative thoughts into external and internal. External is stuff I could express out loud to someone that might be hurtful/frustrating/anger-inducing or what I do express out loud. Internal is a struggle that goes on within me, which could be self-exteem, or purely spiritual, like temptations, or just something that I personally think is screwed up in me.
I will admit, I can be really stupid and mean in my head. To other people. I would totally... well, I wouldn't kill, but I'd do something extreme just to be as sensitive as was about two to three years ago. Without being lost spiritually, anyway. I had the best empathy on earth. I guess I say that a lot, and that makes me think I'm whiney, like how I complain about my weight all the time, ignore how my friends say I'm not fat, and how I don't exercise hardly enough even after a day of enough snacks to match the three, carb-heavy, meals that I eat every day.
Sometimes I forget that my friends are more than just the issues that I see they have. I think that's the problem anyway. I can't find a balance, just like I can't with my self-perception. If I'm too friendly and ignore whatever's going on in their life and just don't say a word about it as I watch them go farther and farther from where they could, should, would be, it's just... not good. Sometimes we have to break our friends rules and intervene. Or at least try. And then if I'm too analytical or too talkative about their issues, they hate me for it. There is never a happy medium for the way I act. I cling to some friends. I never bring up whatever's going wrong in their life unless they do. I cling to some friends, and then I feel responsibility to others. If I don't talk to them in a while, I feel guilty, because what if their situation got worse? Or what if... what if, what if, what if. And it's like I'm not talking to them because I want to talk to them. And sometimes I'm like an information addict with my friends. A lot of the time, I'm curious at to what they have to say. And each time I find out something new about them, I have such a great feeling, like I'm more and more trusted. And then, I realize, I don't deserve trust, because I've betrayed their secrets before, even if it was just a crush, which it usually is. And then serious things, I don't let anyone else know. I have, I think, about two friends who willingly come to me with their problems and accept the words I say to them in response. It's not always just advice, sometimes it's just... I dunno. My responses. I feel so invasive sometimes. I know I am sometimes. Sometimes I'm genuinely concerned. Usually it's trivial things I'm invasive about, like boys and crushes. I try not to push so hard on serious issues. Only when they bring them up. They're people, not issues, not problems... these things either don't define them at all, or entirely make them who they are. If they're not taking charge, if they're not letting God in, or anyone else who tries to help.
I don't think I can be a co-dependent, because my family hasn't had the kind of issues that makes a person a co-dependent. Either that, or I'm ridiculously unorthodox. I don't fit all the symptoms either. I usually go up for personal responsibility when it comes to a person's actions, even if they have a mental disorder, which might ruin my chances of becoming a psychologist... I mean, things can be distorted when one has a disorder, but that doesn't mean one should not take responsibility for those actions. I don't even know where I got my basis, it's just my current thoughts. I wasn't always that way. But I'm such a hypocrite. What if... I just had something to blame on all of my wrong thoughts and actions? Not even another person, but just something within myself that "made" me act the way I did? What sick person wishes that? Even thinks of it? It's like sin--Satan tempts, but we commit the action of sin. No one, not even the evilest force "makes" us sin. It's just the way we are... and we have the choice, to bless or curse. To live or die spiritually.
I'll never wish this short life over before it's time again, but I just wish I could get a total mental makeover. I wish I could be the person who could balance, and the one that God wants me to be. I have to work though. Just like my whining problems, I've just gotta work... really, really hard.
Prayer requests again to my believing friends (You don't have to; it's just requests):
-My former piano-teaching friend in Kazahkstan, who is teaching English there. That she remains safe and reaches out the best way she can for the Lord in the country.
-A man who lost his cousin recently, to suicide. For the family and everyone.
-The country. We're lost, but we can be found again. That all will turn to God even more.
((Happy Late American Independence Day, guys. :) ))
And now I feel better after writing all this stuff. It wasn't good to write, but I feel better... I really do care about you guys, my friends. I love you guys so much. I'm amazed how you can put up with me all the time. You guys are the greatest people I've ever met, and I really don't know where I'd be without you. I thank God for you everyday.
I think I'll seperate my character flaws/whatever I should call them/negative thoughts into external and internal. External is stuff I could express out loud to someone that might be hurtful/frustrating/anger-inducing or what I do express out loud. Internal is a struggle that goes on within me, which could be self-exteem, or purely spiritual, like temptations, or just something that I personally think is screwed up in me.
I will admit, I can be really stupid and mean in my head. To other people. I would totally... well, I wouldn't kill, but I'd do something extreme just to be as sensitive as was about two to three years ago. Without being lost spiritually, anyway. I had the best empathy on earth. I guess I say that a lot, and that makes me think I'm whiney, like how I complain about my weight all the time, ignore how my friends say I'm not fat, and how I don't exercise hardly enough even after a day of enough snacks to match the three, carb-heavy, meals that I eat every day.
Sometimes I forget that my friends are more than just the issues that I see they have. I think that's the problem anyway. I can't find a balance, just like I can't with my self-perception. If I'm too friendly and ignore whatever's going on in their life and just don't say a word about it as I watch them go farther and farther from where they could, should, would be, it's just... not good. Sometimes we have to break our friends rules and intervene. Or at least try. And then if I'm too analytical or too talkative about their issues, they hate me for it. There is never a happy medium for the way I act. I cling to some friends. I never bring up whatever's going wrong in their life unless they do. I cling to some friends, and then I feel responsibility to others. If I don't talk to them in a while, I feel guilty, because what if their situation got worse? Or what if... what if, what if, what if. And it's like I'm not talking to them because I want to talk to them. And sometimes I'm like an information addict with my friends. A lot of the time, I'm curious at to what they have to say. And each time I find out something new about them, I have such a great feeling, like I'm more and more trusted. And then, I realize, I don't deserve trust, because I've betrayed their secrets before, even if it was just a crush, which it usually is. And then serious things, I don't let anyone else know. I have, I think, about two friends who willingly come to me with their problems and accept the words I say to them in response. It's not always just advice, sometimes it's just... I dunno. My responses. I feel so invasive sometimes. I know I am sometimes. Sometimes I'm genuinely concerned. Usually it's trivial things I'm invasive about, like boys and crushes. I try not to push so hard on serious issues. Only when they bring them up. They're people, not issues, not problems... these things either don't define them at all, or entirely make them who they are. If they're not taking charge, if they're not letting God in, or anyone else who tries to help.
I don't think I can be a co-dependent, because my family hasn't had the kind of issues that makes a person a co-dependent. Either that, or I'm ridiculously unorthodox. I don't fit all the symptoms either. I usually go up for personal responsibility when it comes to a person's actions, even if they have a mental disorder, which might ruin my chances of becoming a psychologist... I mean, things can be distorted when one has a disorder, but that doesn't mean one should not take responsibility for those actions. I don't even know where I got my basis, it's just my current thoughts. I wasn't always that way. But I'm such a hypocrite. What if... I just had something to blame on all of my wrong thoughts and actions? Not even another person, but just something within myself that "made" me act the way I did? What sick person wishes that? Even thinks of it? It's like sin--Satan tempts, but we commit the action of sin. No one, not even the evilest force "makes" us sin. It's just the way we are... and we have the choice, to bless or curse. To live or die spiritually.
I'll never wish this short life over before it's time again, but I just wish I could get a total mental makeover. I wish I could be the person who could balance, and the one that God wants me to be. I have to work though. Just like my whining problems, I've just gotta work... really, really hard.
Prayer requests again to my believing friends (You don't have to; it's just requests):
-My former piano-teaching friend in Kazahkstan, who is teaching English there. That she remains safe and reaches out the best way she can for the Lord in the country.
-A man who lost his cousin recently, to suicide. For the family and everyone.
-The country. We're lost, but we can be found again. That all will turn to God even more.
((Happy Late American Independence Day, guys. :) ))
And now I feel better after writing all this stuff. It wasn't good to write, but I feel better... I really do care about you guys, my friends. I love you guys so much. I'm amazed how you can put up with me all the time. You guys are the greatest people I've ever met, and I really don't know where I'd be without you. I thank God for you everyday.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
And now to get serious. :-/ (Reflections and vents and what not...)
Alright, I neglected talking about all the other events in June that have gone on, and toward the end of the schoolyear. There are a lot of them, lots of fun stuff. That I could go into detail on. I might later.
I was looking over my blog, looking at the 2008 posts, and decided to see if there was another one from this date last year, June 28. And so I did, and I was amazed. I was just... sobered. Because I've changed so much in a year, and not in a good way. I've heard all of this stuff lately, celebrity death, death of friends, watching intense fiction that involves death and pain and it's just... nothing gets to me anymore. My friends who are most likely to have issues or do, I neglect calling them, just to talk. Not that I don't pray for those who are in pain.
I was so spiritually mature last year. On June 28, 2008, I wrote about a night a remember, about my friend "Sam 2", and he was having a hard time, and how much I cared for him, how much God was so prominent and amazing, a wonderful Creator, a friend, a Healer. Something broke me sometime, I don't know what... well, maybe I do. I'm so dang selfish, I can't stand it. I'd rather, no offense to anyone, be miserable and empathetic like I was a few years ago, where every little hint of hurt in another person's life could make me cry and pray and want to help, and I hated myself while desperately hoping for others, than be selfish and unable to crack. I save tears for guilt. I've been like that for a while, even back then. Guilt, guilt, guilt, I haven't even felt that guilty in a while. I wish I did, because that would mean I care.
Last night, while watching Slumdog Millionaire, I had started to feel a little sick to my stomach, but it had nothing to do with the movie. When my dad or brother tried to say something about the sad things in the movie, and everything, I told them to be quiet, and watched, and rather than feeling horrible for the little boy who was blinded by the sick men who were teaching all these orphans how to beg, I was burning angry, wishing for retribution for the man and his accomplices. And as other graphic and terrible images and fictional memories that could be very real in real India appeared, I was just in a numb, saddish shell. How could that happen? I was still more angry though... I don't know, this had more logic when I thought it... I just didn't have the right emotional reaction.At least I thought I didn't. Now I do, I know how horrible it is. And I really want to do something to help out those who have lives like Jamal, Salim, and Latika's, in India, and wherever else. But immediately, I didn't react right or maybe not at all. I couldn't watch the men blind the boy, though... That was too horrible.
Regardless, that's just my reaction to fiction. There have been a ton of celebrity deaths lately, but that's not what got me. A friend of mine told me about her friends, who had lost four friends of theirs. She gave me a link to their local news. Five teens were in a car accident, with a man who might have been under the influence of alcohol, one teen, the driver in the car with the five, in critical condition, being the only survivor in that vehicle, and the man who hit them. He had minor, non-life-threatening injuries. How unfair, how terrible, how horrible, miserable, sad, that is... I just feel kind of heavy now, though I know people die everyday. It's just sad. None of the teens were over 16. I'm praying for all of them.
I don't know what's happened to me. Doubt and questions were planted in me, and Satan and people are pulling me in all these directions. I think I get the part in Romans, where Paul writes on how the sinful nature and the Spirit are always in conflict within him. I think that's the way it is for a lot of Christians, but I feel it. I just want to do things right, and live the way God wants me to. I want to be confident in who I am and what I want to do. I want to be able to let go of things, and not judge wrongly or cruelly, and I want to be able to take responsibility, and to step up to the plate, and care and break and hurt...
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
-Romans 12:15
I don't want to be prideful, I want to be able to be corrected, and not argue, and yet still, not hold back when I SHOULD say something... man. This life... I've gotta change. So much. One day at a time, I guess. If you guys don't mind, I'd like to ask my believer friends, I have a prayer request: Could you pray for the friend and her friends I mentioned earlier, and another friend of mine who's done something and another who's moving to a new place soon? That would be so greatly appreciated.
I really appreciate all who visit my blog. You're amazing people. God bless all, and He loves you all, and I love you guys. :) Thanks for your kindness and readership. ^^
I was looking over my blog, looking at the 2008 posts, and decided to see if there was another one from this date last year, June 28. And so I did, and I was amazed. I was just... sobered. Because I've changed so much in a year, and not in a good way. I've heard all of this stuff lately, celebrity death, death of friends, watching intense fiction that involves death and pain and it's just... nothing gets to me anymore. My friends who are most likely to have issues or do, I neglect calling them, just to talk. Not that I don't pray for those who are in pain.
I was so spiritually mature last year. On June 28, 2008, I wrote about a night a remember, about my friend "Sam 2", and he was having a hard time, and how much I cared for him, how much God was so prominent and amazing, a wonderful Creator, a friend, a Healer. Something broke me sometime, I don't know what... well, maybe I do. I'm so dang selfish, I can't stand it. I'd rather, no offense to anyone, be miserable and empathetic like I was a few years ago, where every little hint of hurt in another person's life could make me cry and pray and want to help, and I hated myself while desperately hoping for others, than be selfish and unable to crack. I save tears for guilt. I've been like that for a while, even back then. Guilt, guilt, guilt, I haven't even felt that guilty in a while. I wish I did, because that would mean I care.
Last night, while watching Slumdog Millionaire, I had started to feel a little sick to my stomach, but it had nothing to do with the movie. When my dad or brother tried to say something about the sad things in the movie, and everything, I told them to be quiet, and watched, and rather than feeling horrible for the little boy who was blinded by the sick men who were teaching all these orphans how to beg, I was burning angry, wishing for retribution for the man and his accomplices. And as other graphic and terrible images and fictional memories that could be very real in real India appeared, I was just in a numb, saddish shell. How could that happen? I was still more angry though... I don't know, this had more logic when I thought it... I just didn't have the right emotional reaction.At least I thought I didn't. Now I do, I know how horrible it is. And I really want to do something to help out those who have lives like Jamal, Salim, and Latika's, in India, and wherever else. But immediately, I didn't react right or maybe not at all. I couldn't watch the men blind the boy, though... That was too horrible.
Regardless, that's just my reaction to fiction. There have been a ton of celebrity deaths lately, but that's not what got me. A friend of mine told me about her friends, who had lost four friends of theirs. She gave me a link to their local news. Five teens were in a car accident, with a man who might have been under the influence of alcohol, one teen, the driver in the car with the five, in critical condition, being the only survivor in that vehicle, and the man who hit them. He had minor, non-life-threatening injuries. How unfair, how terrible, how horrible, miserable, sad, that is... I just feel kind of heavy now, though I know people die everyday. It's just sad. None of the teens were over 16. I'm praying for all of them.
I don't know what's happened to me. Doubt and questions were planted in me, and Satan and people are pulling me in all these directions. I think I get the part in Romans, where Paul writes on how the sinful nature and the Spirit are always in conflict within him. I think that's the way it is for a lot of Christians, but I feel it. I just want to do things right, and live the way God wants me to. I want to be confident in who I am and what I want to do. I want to be able to let go of things, and not judge wrongly or cruelly, and I want to be able to take responsibility, and to step up to the plate, and care and break and hurt...
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
-Romans 12:15
I don't want to be prideful, I want to be able to be corrected, and not argue, and yet still, not hold back when I SHOULD say something... man. This life... I've gotta change. So much. One day at a time, I guess. If you guys don't mind, I'd like to ask my believer friends, I have a prayer request: Could you pray for the friend and her friends I mentioned earlier, and another friend of mine who's done something and another who's moving to a new place soon? That would be so greatly appreciated.
I really appreciate all who visit my blog. You're amazing people. God bless all, and He loves you all, and I love you guys. :) Thanks for your kindness and readership. ^^
Sleepover and various weekend epicness. (mostly a rant of recollection, some unnecessary stuff maybe. xD)
Leah, Ella, and I had a sleepover this weekend. It was supposed to be a huge movie night, with all the Harry Potter movies out being watched (provided that Leah brought them), Phantom of the Opera, The Dark Knight, and Transformers. The grocery store with movie rentals didn't have Transformers out anymore. xP And Leah forgot the Harry Potter movies... (and to return my Remedy Drive CD!!! D:< That's okay, though, I can wait... ^^'). So we wound up watching only two movies. They came over on Friday, and it was around... 4:40 or so, and it was amazing. We put their stuff away, and then we changed into our swimsuits (I lent Ella a skort to put on because she didn't have her suit, and I didn't have any regular shorts... xD ^^'). And we went to the river. It was a new part of the river that I'd been wanting to visit for a while, and it was amazing!!! XD :) There was a little deeper, poolish area, that wasn't too deep, but it was pretty awesome, and we swam around in it, and it had soft, silky, silt-mud on the floor of it, and it felt like we were walking in chocolate pudding... yeah, healthy, I know right? It was so much fun though. xD :) We walked through a small part of the river. Most of it was pretty shallow, not like the other part that we usually go to. It was epic fun. Then we went back home, and then we rented The Dark Knight, and we ate pizza and bread and Ella and Leah had apple juice, and then we watched Phantom of the Opera. Just to say, ELLA AND LEAH ARE VERY OPINIONATED (sp?). xD They're both super-fans of Erik/Kristine, and can't stand Raoul... but yeah, it was a good movie, from what I caught out of it. ^^' The Dark Knight, we realized, is a very, very deep movie, once you get past the needless violence. We stayed up until a little past 2:30 AM (Leah and I ran outside for a few minutes while it was storming, because it had FINALLY started raining...). And then we slept. And Saturday morning, we did this:
http://www.snapvine.com/bp/u-PKPGMqEd6F1gAwSFsPiA
http://www.snapvine.com/bp/6JwOQmMtEd60-gAwSFxytA
http://www.snapvine.com/bp/TNh5JGMxEd60-gAwSFxytA
It was pretty cool. xD :) We are dorks, and we're crazy and all that jazz, but we rock. XD :) It was very fun to record those.
After Montana went home, Leah stayed, and we hung out for the day, and walked in the part of the river we usually went on. We kept wanting it to rain, but the sun was absorbing the clouds and stalking us xP Finally, it did, a little. It was really cool, the way the clouds arranged. Partway sunny, partway cloudy, some patches of blue in the sky, it was awesome. The small bit of rain was fun. xD We love the river... XD :) Leah, my family, and I went to this place called Camp Victory, for this carnival. We were originally going to just bring her home after the carnival, which would have ended at 10:30 PM, but we decided she should just stay over if it was that late, and so we planned to have Leah sleepover another night. We sang Remedy Drive and attempted Children 18:3 in the car. xD When we got there, she and I played this game where two people had to throw a ball into a hoop, while being attached to this cable or something through an inflatable thing, with one person attached to one end, the other to the other end. Whoever puts the ball in first, wins (Ella, if you're reading this, it's the game you and Leah played at Sunshine, xD :) ). But it was shorter than Leah and Ella's elementary school's Spring Fling carnival (we only got one ball. xP). Afterward, we went and got funnel cake and popcorn and food and we ate. xD Funnel cake is one of the most unhealthy and delicious culinary inventions ever. XD ^^' Heh... yeah...
Leah and I played an 18-hole game of Mini-Golf. And I failed. Though I got a hole-in-one on hole 7. XD But that was the only good thing I ever did in the rest of the game. xD The rest of it, I failed on. xP And I would guide the ball into a hole, rather than hit it, once I got close enough... ^^' Heh... heheh.
The most fun part of the carnival was the stuff we did that we didn't fully realize we weren't supposed to. ^^' Heh. There was caution tape, but we went under it, because we saw these girls playing with water balloons by the Water Wars machine (http://www.funfilledevents.com/images/water_wars_pics_014_mpu4.jpg Basically like that one, except without the net or the big X in the middle, and just randomly outside, nothing protecting the ground...). Water Wars was also at the elementary school's carnival, and that's what I recognized it from, and it is EPICALLY FUN.
Anyway, it was suspiciously close to the fireworks, which were supposed to go off later that night... heh. Well, we disregarded that and started blowing up balloons, as soon as we could make the balloon-filling-thingy work without spitting water out from the hose. Soon, a father and his son showed up, after we launched a couple balloons at each other. The little boy started playing with the balloons, and the man talked with us. And then another boy showed up, an older one. Him and the other boy started playing and filling balloons. And then an older boy showed up. And then this huge group of kids and a couple of adults with them, who looked related to them, showed up, and started playing. So it was turning into a watery mess of fun. Another family showed up, two little girls, their mom, and then their dad showed up later. Eventually, my mom and dad showed up. Leah and I and my dad all threw some balloon at each other. xD And then... a guy from the camp showed up said that the Water Wars was actually for the campers, and it was pretty close to the fireworks and not supposed to be in use, sooo... ^^' Heheh. We had to stop. D: It was sad, and Leah and I felt a little guilty for opening it up, but it was still fun. We left early, but Leah was still sleeping over, which we were happy about. xD
We came home, and rented Slumdog Millionaire. My dad, brother, Leah, and I watched it. I don't think my mom was all that interested. That movie was intense. o.o Afterward, Leah had a sandwich and apple juice *random* and we went on the computer, and Leah was bent on harrassing me to upload photos to Facebook that I've been procrastinating on for weeks... ^^' Heh... heheh. But then the internet died after one picture. xP So we all went to bed (Leah, my brother, and me). Leah and I only stayed up until midnight, but it was alright.
We got up this morning, and it actually wasn't burning hot, so I was amazed. I slept in the guest room (two beds, one room, etc.) and had this thing that happens sometimes when I sleep in hotels, where I think I'm up in my room, and found that I was underneath a blanket over my head, so I kicked it off as fast as possible, cuz I was kinda freaked out, but then I realized I was just in the guest room, and I'm like "Oh...".
And then I was headed for the door, and Leah shoots right up. xD It was epic. I was amazed at how quickly she woke up this morning. xD She told me about her epic dream, where her and Jamal from Slumdog Millionaire went to McDonald's and they weren't allowed to go in because they were too dirty and shoeless... you'll have to ask her about it. :) It was pretty epicsauce.
I took a shower and then I got out and then Leah chose clothes to borrow from me, because she'd only brought two outfits that weekend, and she looked very feminine. xD :) ^^ Mwahahahahaha...
We ate a breakfast of coffee (Leah; I didn't have much coffee this weekend, sadly. D:), biscuits, bacon, and eggs. :) It was very good. And then we drove up to Rochester, singing Children 18:3's "Mock the Music" when it came onto the radio, and it was amazing. XD And then we got up to Sunday School. We chatted for a little bit with a couple of our friends, and then the high school band led worship for the first Sunday this summer in Middle School Sunday school. It was pretty awesome. And then we had the lesson, which was really cool and interesting, about Galations. It's about how the Galations made all of these unnecessary rules based on the Law, something called "legalism", where rules and restrictions overtake the purpose and message of the Gospel in a church, and how it was wrong. It was really interesting, and really cool. I've got a lot to work on in my walk with God right now, so I'm glad to keep going to Sunday School and everything.
We found my friend "Macy" (blog codename) after Sunday School again (we talked to her before it started), and I sadly couldn't stay to go over to her house or anything after church, or help out with King's Kids (the children's ministry service-thingy, with games, snacks, a video, songs, etc.). And we brought Leah home. :( And then my family went home, and my dad went to work, and I've been here ever since.
So that was my epic weekend. xD The best thing, I guess, about today, is that Rose is heading up from Florida today. :D
I love you guys. :) God loves you more! xD :) Talk to you all later. :) <3
Aly
http://www.snapvine.com/bp/u-PKPGMqEd6F1gAwSFsPiA
http://www.snapvine.com/bp/6JwOQmMtEd60-gAwSFxytA
http://www.snapvine.com/bp/TNh5JGMxEd60-gAwSFxytA
It was pretty cool. xD :) We are dorks, and we're crazy and all that jazz, but we rock. XD :) It was very fun to record those.
After Montana went home, Leah stayed, and we hung out for the day, and walked in the part of the river we usually went on. We kept wanting it to rain, but the sun was absorbing the clouds and stalking us xP Finally, it did, a little. It was really cool, the way the clouds arranged. Partway sunny, partway cloudy, some patches of blue in the sky, it was awesome. The small bit of rain was fun. xD We love the river... XD :) Leah, my family, and I went to this place called Camp Victory, for this carnival. We were originally going to just bring her home after the carnival, which would have ended at 10:30 PM, but we decided she should just stay over if it was that late, and so we planned to have Leah sleepover another night. We sang Remedy Drive and attempted Children 18:3 in the car. xD When we got there, she and I played this game where two people had to throw a ball into a hoop, while being attached to this cable or something through an inflatable thing, with one person attached to one end, the other to the other end. Whoever puts the ball in first, wins (Ella, if you're reading this, it's the game you and Leah played at Sunshine, xD :) ). But it was shorter than Leah and Ella's elementary school's Spring Fling carnival (we only got one ball. xP). Afterward, we went and got funnel cake and popcorn and food and we ate. xD Funnel cake is one of the most unhealthy and delicious culinary inventions ever. XD ^^' Heh... yeah...
Leah and I played an 18-hole game of Mini-Golf. And I failed. Though I got a hole-in-one on hole 7. XD But that was the only good thing I ever did in the rest of the game. xD The rest of it, I failed on. xP And I would guide the ball into a hole, rather than hit it, once I got close enough... ^^' Heh... heheh.
The most fun part of the carnival was the stuff we did that we didn't fully realize we weren't supposed to. ^^' Heh. There was caution tape, but we went under it, because we saw these girls playing with water balloons by the Water Wars machine (http://www.funfilledevents.com/images/water_wars_pics_014_mpu4.jpg Basically like that one, except without the net or the big X in the middle, and just randomly outside, nothing protecting the ground...). Water Wars was also at the elementary school's carnival, and that's what I recognized it from, and it is EPICALLY FUN.
Anyway, it was suspiciously close to the fireworks, which were supposed to go off later that night... heh. Well, we disregarded that and started blowing up balloons, as soon as we could make the balloon-filling-thingy work without spitting water out from the hose. Soon, a father and his son showed up, after we launched a couple balloons at each other. The little boy started playing with the balloons, and the man talked with us. And then another boy showed up, an older one. Him and the other boy started playing and filling balloons. And then an older boy showed up. And then this huge group of kids and a couple of adults with them, who looked related to them, showed up, and started playing. So it was turning into a watery mess of fun. Another family showed up, two little girls, their mom, and then their dad showed up later. Eventually, my mom and dad showed up. Leah and I and my dad all threw some balloon at each other. xD And then... a guy from the camp showed up said that the Water Wars was actually for the campers, and it was pretty close to the fireworks and not supposed to be in use, sooo... ^^' Heheh. We had to stop. D: It was sad, and Leah and I felt a little guilty for opening it up, but it was still fun. We left early, but Leah was still sleeping over, which we were happy about. xD
We came home, and rented Slumdog Millionaire. My dad, brother, Leah, and I watched it. I don't think my mom was all that interested. That movie was intense. o.o Afterward, Leah had a sandwich and apple juice *random* and we went on the computer, and Leah was bent on harrassing me to upload photos to Facebook that I've been procrastinating on for weeks... ^^' Heh... heheh. But then the internet died after one picture. xP So we all went to bed (Leah, my brother, and me). Leah and I only stayed up until midnight, but it was alright.
We got up this morning, and it actually wasn't burning hot, so I was amazed. I slept in the guest room (two beds, one room, etc.) and had this thing that happens sometimes when I sleep in hotels, where I think I'm up in my room, and found that I was underneath a blanket over my head, so I kicked it off as fast as possible, cuz I was kinda freaked out, but then I realized I was just in the guest room, and I'm like "Oh...".
And then I was headed for the door, and Leah shoots right up. xD It was epic. I was amazed at how quickly she woke up this morning. xD She told me about her epic dream, where her and Jamal from Slumdog Millionaire went to McDonald's and they weren't allowed to go in because they were too dirty and shoeless... you'll have to ask her about it. :) It was pretty epicsauce.
I took a shower and then I got out and then Leah chose clothes to borrow from me, because she'd only brought two outfits that weekend, and she looked very feminine. xD :) ^^ Mwahahahahaha...
We ate a breakfast of coffee (Leah; I didn't have much coffee this weekend, sadly. D:), biscuits, bacon, and eggs. :) It was very good. And then we drove up to Rochester, singing Children 18:3's "Mock the Music" when it came onto the radio, and it was amazing. XD And then we got up to Sunday School. We chatted for a little bit with a couple of our friends, and then the high school band led worship for the first Sunday this summer in Middle School Sunday school. It was pretty awesome. And then we had the lesson, which was really cool and interesting, about Galations. It's about how the Galations made all of these unnecessary rules based on the Law, something called "legalism", where rules and restrictions overtake the purpose and message of the Gospel in a church, and how it was wrong. It was really interesting, and really cool. I've got a lot to work on in my walk with God right now, so I'm glad to keep going to Sunday School and everything.
We found my friend "Macy" (blog codename) after Sunday School again (we talked to her before it started), and I sadly couldn't stay to go over to her house or anything after church, or help out with King's Kids (the children's ministry service-thingy, with games, snacks, a video, songs, etc.). And we brought Leah home. :( And then my family went home, and my dad went to work, and I've been here ever since.
So that was my epic weekend. xD The best thing, I guess, about today, is that Rose is heading up from Florida today. :D
I love you guys. :) God loves you more! xD :) Talk to you all later. :) <3
Aly
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
