The Shrink (a poem-thing)

Life inspires me once more to write a poem/song-like-item. It's kind of a... weird titled thing, lots of metaphorical things, I think... or that's how it turned out in my mind. Be known that I do not write rough drafts (like, evaarrr) in my blog. (Manual, Manual of Life= metaphors for the Bible)


The Shrink

The world is suffering
From society-based schizophrenia
Dark voices telling them lies
And the truth is distorted

The shrink is there
With calls for suicidal thoughts and anger
Sadness, grief, frustrations
Compulsions and obsessions
Unhealthy habits
Anxiety problems, and anorexia, bullimia

She hears their stories everyday
She wants to help, but doesn't know what to say
She prays, and prays, but doesn't stop to listen
Especially when she should

The shrink has problems too
But they don't matter to her
Oh, she shouldn't have made it past internship
There isn't enough training that will ever make her get used to this
No amount of preparation

She's desensitized at times
Reviews her patients' files
Feels angry at times
But she pushes it away
Oh they need her, yes they do
Or do they, really?

They need God, yes they do
She prays
She's afraid to speak sometimes and feels ashamed

The 'bosses' at work suffer from that schizophrenia too
The voices telling them it's wrong
The voice that says it's politically incorrect
Offensive
To tell them about the Lord that leads her way

Stressful day, after stressful day
She sits and prays
She needs to read her Manual a little bit more

She'll fight not to go insane
Not to fall into the voices that threaten her precious mind and heart
She'll fight to do what's right
And avoid what is wrong

Sometimes her patients won't want her words
And professional lines will have to drop
As she steps in and holds them close
Lets their tears fall on her shirt

She fights everyday against those disorders
That threaten her own life
Mental hypochondriac she wished to diagnose herself

But pills don't fight the lies of the dark voices
God is on her side

She fights the lies everyday and every night
She won't listen to those voices
No matter how hard it is
If someone falls, she'll ask for God's guidance
Let him lift them up
If she is called upon, she will do her part

That's her job
And now she knows to do it willingly
The difference between right and wrong
And friend and psychiatrist or psychologist
Are reminding her
And God shines light down through the darkness
She will follow it

Let the Manual of Life show her what should be done
Rather than fall into the voices.

I know ya'll pro'lly wanna hear abou the wedding, but... (vent/rantpost.o.e confuzzlingpost)

For starters, the wedding was great. There was an after party for the after party of the after party. All three parties and the wedding were cool. And my cousins pwn you.





Anyway, now to my dumb stupid emotions no one really wants to hear about... okay, maybe I'm wrong...





*hugs* I love you guys. *sigh*





School started today. I missed most of the day, due to my flight coming in.





But everyone seemed pretty nice. And it seems like I didn't screw up my friendship with Jared as much as I thought I had...








Okay, and NOW, to stop avoiding talking.





(Hm, I wonder where my guidance counselor's office is now... the school's office is all like, rearranged... o.e )








Okay.





Combination of sixth grade... and... well, you know what, no. It's all outside school. Everyone's got problems already.





-----------------


I was interrupted. By my parents. Talking about a lovely new routine. *sigh* Why couldn't I just let myself be inspired by them and their academic excellence, even though their families were... erm... (put nicely), different than my own.

*sigh*


In so many ways, I'm selfish and self-centered, and vain, and cold. And I create my own problems. And maybe, somewhere deep in the caverns of my weird, screwed-up mind, I just wanna study psychology/psychiatry(yes, psychiatrymaybenow) so I can say I have a mental disorder, get pills, and feel fixed. Actually, that wouldn't even work. If that's what I really think. Which I'm sure I don't... but some part of me... might? Now I'm confusing myself! Maybe I'll just drive myself insane... xPP



Anyway, I'm also either mellowdramatic/sacrificial/right? . I don't know. You know how in the Bible, one of the apostles (I don't remember which... ) speaks about how blessing and cursing come from the tongue. How a stream that produces freshwater cannot produce saltwater, or something similar to that.



I have that. A lot. And it shouldn't be.



It's not just my mouth. It's my mind. I confuse myself sometimes. I try to figure myself out, when a part of me knows the truth, while the others try to think of other things.



I have horrible self-esteem. Some people might not know that.



I hate my body a lot sometimes. I just think I'm ugly sometimes. And it's wrong. God made me. He made everything about me. I should pray more. I should lean on God more. But so many times I get so dang close to falling into that pit of temptation. And it's always within myself. No one else's fault.



No one's ever told me I'm worthless, no one's ever told me I'm fat, or ugly, or stupid, or that I was a bad person. Everyone even says I---
-------------------
Gah. Interrupted. More. So, I started this entry yesterday, and didn't finish it, and I don't feel like it.

But, I did feel like posting it. I'm praying for everyone else right now and their beginning-of-school-issues. My issues are dead today. I feel fine.

Meh. So bipolar I am.



Sooooooooo...

Nothing epical happened for me today at school. I finished my homework during school. The schedule's weird, but that's okay.

Hot N Cold by Katy Perry is addicting. o.e Gawsh, I hated her first single... but she's so contagious! D:< GAH!

Anyway... yeah. *sigh* Love you guys. God Bless. :) Sorry for this confusing entry. I just really wanted to update for you all... even though you probably didn't want to hear me angst on here...

Randomness. Rant. Life. Thoughts. Today. Yeah.

My creativity died in that title...

Anyway, I'd like to let ya'll know, I'ma be pretty much not on very often starting tommorrow, due to being in DC for my cousin's wedding on Tuesday, and after that, on September 2nd, when our plane gets back, I'll be heading to school. o.e Which kinda sucks.

But I'm sure the wedding will be awesomely... ^^

I am really looking forward to this now. I'm gonna see relatives I haven't seen for years, and all that good stuff... and...

*sighs*

Okay, secretly, I really wanna find someone to dance with at the reception. That's one of my eveel boy crazy goals.

xP

Hopefully not related to me. O.O Most likely not... we don't have a lot of guys in the family that aren't about 18 years older than me or anything more than my brother's age. o.e

Anyway... *sigh*

Today I thought about Rose. And Mark. And Jared. I really miss 'em all...

Mark's probably spazzed out because he couldn't make it to the BD party. It wasn't his fault he couldn't make it... *sigh*

I put some more songs on my playlist for Rose... heh. You know, stuff like the stuff we used to sing back in summer of '06, after I discovered MUSIC!, when I talked to her daily for hours upon hours on the phone... good times. *sigh*

Teen Titans fanvids. D': I miss her... *sigh* :'( *cries*

I saw Jared while running errands today. o.e He was with his friend, who has the same name as 'Kim's' brother, David. (Had a crush on him in fifth grade... LOOOONNNGGG story, not to be told right now) Meh. I waved awkwardly, like I was confused/PO'd or something, and then went into the post office and did my post-office duties and all dat.

I was so tempted to just walk over and talk to them...

So that's what I planned, after I went to get my books and return them to the library. And they were gone already, of course. David and Jared have been hangin' out a heck of a lot this summer. *sighs*

I still feel like I screwed things up between Jared and I. Maybe I'm wrong... but I just hope things go well this schoolyear. I still wanna be friends with him. And I'll feel quite hurt if he starts acting like a jerk to me this year.

Ugh. Maybe I SHOULD stay away from guys... but I just can't decide. I think it'd be healthier if I just had a crush on someone... then I'd just watch them, and think about them, and not about M-Word and every hawt guy I ever see... xP I've become too vain, I think. *sigh* I don't care about how a person looks if I date them. But I now know what the world thinks makes someone attractive...

But I guess I still don't care. I have my own preferences. Heh... *sigh*

I'm sighing a lot. o.e

xP I think I'm at the very beginning of falling in... like I'm walking toward the edge that makes you swept in the world, but being pulled back and forth from right and wrong, and I KNOW what's right, and wrong, yet I contemplate them. But I always stop myself before I get in.

Even though my humor has become increasingly crude. And I'm contemplating tolerance on certain issues that I know are wrong. I love God. And I need to focus. I can't go through life without God. That would kill. I wouldn't BE here if I didn't have faith in Him. I wouldn't be ALIVE if he wasn't there. Nor would anyone else...

xP

The most frustrating, depressing, GAH! D:< (ish a face) boards ever:

http://forums.avatarspirit.net/index.php?board=2.0


xPPPP (xP= also a face)

Granted, I learned a lot about certain events from those threads, but still. D:< GAH.

xP

Please don't shoot me for being immature about this right now... *sigh*
*changessubject*


I AM SO EXCITED FOR DC NOW!

I really wanna see my cousins and everyone. Though it'll be awkward to have more of those cheek-pinching aunts you really don't know who go all "Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you since you were a baby!" when they see me... o.e But everything will be good. ^^

:)

Well, school's comin' up... Good luck to all. God Bless. :) ^^

~Aly-chan, "Kim"

Suck It Up by Brian Meehl Summary Rant-Like-Item (LONG)

As requested by Dibsy.
(spoilers ahead)

Anyway, Suck It Up, a novel by Brian Meehl, is about a vampire named Morning McCobb. Trust me. This is NOT a normal vampire novel, but, I think unorthodox vampire novels are becoming so common, that they're practically normal... but this book surpasses "normal", creepy, horror novels, that we believe belong as vampire books.

The main character, Morning, is a skinny, comic book-loving, kind of geeky guy, who graduates at the beginning of the book, from the International Vampire League. (IV League... xD) He's a SangV (human blood virgin, has never drunk human blood; not even animal blood, though he once tried to taste another students Blood Bull animal blood drink, and did not have a great reaction toward it...), vegan vampire, who drinks a soy-based blood substitute, called Blood Lite. He's optimistic, kind, caring, who once had huge hopes and dreams to become a superhero, and a real-life superhero, a firefighter, after watching them risk their lives to save others after the Twin Towers crashed in 2001, having lived in New York City all his life, until he was changed. He'd lived in NY, and mostly at an orphanage for boys, St. Giles, where he was taken care of mainly by his favorite nun, Sister Flora.

He was tossed from foster home to foster home, and often brought back to St. Giles. The only way for him to feel like he was home again, was to visit the Williamsburg Bridge, his favorite bridge in NYC, because "it's no one's favorite," and because of a bedtime story Sister Flora once made up for him, while he was very young, about the 'Williams Bird Bridge'. (read the book; you'll understand.)

Until one Thanksgiving. It was last year... it was then, that the quiet, geeky teen, was turned into a SangFU (blood "flub-up"). An accidental vampire.

His "creator's" intention was not to create a blood-child, but to just enjoy his "dessert". However, that was not the case.

Morning, after realizing what he had become, resisted giving into his 'new' instincts, trying to starve himself off of not drinking blood. And then he was rescued by the Leaguers.

The only thing he'd ever drink, was Blood Lite, the soy-based substitute to human or animal blood. The Leaguer way was very different than the Loner way, the rare ones who lived by way of the "old" vampire commandments, the 'true' dark creatures of the night. The Leaguers' motto was "Drink Culture, Not Life." And they followed it well, blending in quietly with Lifers (mortals; humans) throughout their immortal lives, and keeping their vampirism in secret.

But Luther Birnam, the president of IVL, has plans for a Worldwide Out Day, where vampires would reveal their true identities. And his choice to be the first "Outed" vampire, is none other than...

Morning McCobb.

Thrust into the public, without warning, he gets on his way becoming a huge celebrity, the first true vampire celebrity, the posterchild of the "innocent" vampires. Of the Leaguers.

But that was only the beginning...

Along with his publicist, Penny Dredful, came her daughter, aspiring filmmaker, determined, and filled with attitude, Portia Dredful. She tags along, on Morning's journey to various events, showing off his powers of cell diffrenciation (also known as 'shape-shifting', to Lifers and Loners), to prove he was a vampire, and doing interviews, and trying his best to prove the vampires were not dangerous.

However, the girl who started out as a "story vampire", began growing into something more...

And not everyone wanted the vampires to come out.

Ikor DeThanatos, the only Loner who did not sign the treaty that ended the war between Loners and Leaguers, is determined to punish Morning for going against the Old Commandments.

As Morning gets closer to Portia, he begins to encounter the dangers and pleasures of bloodlust, a deathly combination of envy of human will and dreams, and the thirst of a vampire.

As his last event as the guinea pig of outing vampires approaches, the danger from DeThanatos, and giving into the worst of Leaguer vampire temptations, begins to heat up.
--------

And that's all I'm gonna tell you people. ^^ I tried to keep it to... erm... minimal maximum spoilering... heh. Anyway, I hope if you read it, you'll enjoy it. I liked it. I love Morning. I love Portia (as a character; and she pwns Bella Swan... heheh...), I love Morning/Portia. Great book. Srsly.

I didn't delve into the deeper aspects of the book, but I might do that eventually. All I gotta say is REEEEADDD IIIITTT.

Gah. D: (Suck It Up by Brian Meehl was amazing. o.o) rant-likeitem.short.

Hello people. I'm sorry I haven't been updating a lot lately. I love you guys. You're all really great for reading my blog...

Today, I finished the book Suck It Up, by Brian Meehl. It was awesome. I loved the characters, the story was original, it was just GREAT.
*spoilerzish*

Morning McCobb= pwnsome.

Portia Dredful>Bella Swan

Not obssessed with Morning romantically, actually has a healthy ounce a fear, confident, determined.

I do enjoy Twilight, but I had a very bad case of Bella hate, due to her obssession with Edward, and willingness to give up EVERYTHING, family, friends, home, humanity/mortality/etc. for another person... but, most things were solved in Breaking Dawn. Still... Well, I'm glad everything turned out well for them.

Suck It Up was pretty good, to me. :) ^^' 8) I'll probably rant about more later...

More Blog Neglect...

New Characters

*I've mentioned this one before, just never named him... I think... hopefully... anywayyyy...*

Max- A dude who was my second boyfriend. Yah. Cuz... yah. But anyway, we're all just friends now, and he constantly wears a hat. My friends and I (but mostly me) find it absolutely necessary to attempt to remove that hat. And stuffs. Cuz it annoys him. Dislikes Linkin Park, and most depressing bands... with loud screamtasticness... heheh. Really a sweet kid, with an awkward disposition, obssessed with various girls. And has obvious ways of making it known that he likes someone. Liked Rose. And stopped. Liked me. And stopped. Has good guy advice about guys. He liked a random girl at TURTLES. Yet, he's a great guy. Really. He's sweet and nice and... still pretty fun to give a hard time... heh...

I am REALLY sorry about this guys... I haven't been onto blogspot hardly at all lately, and I know I have readers, and I'm really sorry... D': *wipescobwebsaway*

Like Dibsy said, a blog is like a baby... well, but I don't think it needs diapers, or a bottle... but it needs to be fed.

School's starting up again soon for me, and I'll be going to DC from the 26-Sept. 2nd (the day school starts), for a wedding...

This Thursday, I'm going to the zoo with Ella.

And last weekend, Kris (Leanne) and I had a rawkin'sauce time at my church lock-in like-item, and an AMAZING day at Valleyfair! It was called TURTLES, which stands for Totally Unique Recreational Teen Last Event of the Summer

On Friday, we got to my church, messed around on inflatables, then went inside, ate dinner, and played Rock Band. The only thing I could do was sing (and my voice was made of crap that day) , and so we sang... we sang Creep by Radiohead, Wanted by Bon Jovi, I'm So Sick by Flyleaf... all that stuffs. Pretty much all the songs. And the ones that I don't like. *highlydislikeMississippiQueen* But we still went up there. And annoyed this kid from my church named Max, by singing Creep loudly to him the next day on the bus up to Valleyfair, which is like a Six Flags in Minnesota. An amusement park, with rollercoasters, rides that go high up and fast and stuff and water slides and water rides and stuff. That's Valleyfair. I refused to ride anything that went upside down this year. Though I went on one of the awesomest rollercoasters EVER, like I do every year, the Wild Thing.

http://www.valleyfair.com/public/attractions/rides/thrill_rides/wild_thing.cfm

It looks way cooler when you're on it. Actually, I was about to have a heart attack while I was staring at it, feeling it as it PLUNGED downward, from just watching it, but... I do that every time I see it, even though I've been on it about 8 times now...

Also, during TURTLES, our church got us a Christian Illusionist, Mr. Toby Travis, and he was pretty amazing. I'd seen him before, but, he's always pretty cool. (My church always gets the same entertainment for various things... like the Mega Party/Gran Fiesta outreach to the Hispanics in the city that I go to my church on, yeah, we had the same guy from one time there at TURTLES, which had been about a week and Toby Travis came to Mega Party, I think around... last year, or so. So yah. But they're always cool people who come. ^^)

Valleyfair's Power Tower caused a girl to lose her foot. And she tried to sue them. And they didn't take it down... though they might have been supposed to, but... yeah...

Either way, my dad, his group, (he's a chaperone there) my group, Leanne/Kris being in that group, all went on it...

And they all still have their feet!

I liked Toby Travis's show ending, about how all your deep questions in life are answered when you get saved. Because he was asking a lot of questions right before he got saved like "Why am I here?" or "Where do I go after I die?" "What is my purpose in life?" and he got them all answered when he learned about the Lord and his love and plans for our lives.

I find that pretty awesome. :)


Today, early this morning, my dad started driving with another insurance adjustor friend, to Florida. o.e He's already been called to do a claim. o.e For the tropical storm/hurricane thing. And it was supposed to hit right where Rose was. xPPP D: And she was supposed to start school this week...

I find it amazing how she still manages to have a sense of humor.

"Yeah, here in Florida, we don't get snow days, we get Tropical Storm days."

I'd be like all

"OMC OMC OMC WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sobs* :'( *

I'm praying for them all but...still. xP It's awkward to know my dad's making money of people's houses getting damaged. T.T

I love Rose-chan. We all miss her so much... *sigh* :'(

I'm looking forward to Mega Party/the Zoo this week... it'll be very funness. I love when I have plans during the week. Especially during school. I hate just having to wait until the weekend and sit there all weekend. I always have to be doing something. It gives me something to look forward to during the school-weeks. *sigh*

I have people addiction, too. It may be wrong, but it's more necessary than the computer... much more important. But I don't really give myself time alone, unless I'm in my room drawing/writing/reading, which I hardly ever do... and after at most, an hour and a half, I gotta call Leanne or someone... but mostly Leanne... ^^"

Either way, I'm a friend-neglecter too. xP

*sigh*

I'ma keep praying, and hoping I can live for the Lord this year.

6th Grade- Weird and quiet-ish and depressed-ish/hyper-ish.

7th Grade- Outspoken and more happy, talkative, hyper/deep-ish occasionally/friendly/strong opinions.

8th Grade- ?

Well, we'll see what my insanebrain comes up with this year...

BLOG NEGLECT D:

I'm sorry everyone for not being here for so long... *sigh* I really am. *hugseveryone* I missed you guys.

I've just sort of had writer's block... I mean, I have tons of stuff to write about, and I think quite a few unfinished drafts that I'll never get published, but either way, I've been obssessing over stuff for a while, and it's not goin' well. xP Obssession is icky and bad. And internet addiction. o.e

Either way, I shouldn't be neglecting you awesome people who read my blogs. I missed you guys. *huggles*

Anyway, onto other matters.

I need to focus on my faith in God more, because I'm obssessing over friends, books, and roleplaying. And not even focusing on school, which is coming September 2nd, sadly. I should be reading my Bible, at least looking through verses... *sigh*

Christian peoplez- Anyone got a suggestion of a pre-School Bible book I should read? (As in books IN the Bible, like Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, etc...)

I once read one chapter or so of Proverbs per day throughout the month of May. It was very interesting. That's what the speaker at one of our Christian conferences said would be a good idea for someone who was already developing their faith...

Anyway, I gots a Facebook.

http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1397139183

*sigh* Such a terrible place to get addicted to... it's not quite as bad as myspace would be, I think.... heh. I share a MySpace with Kris (Leanne) and Rose. But Rose never logs on... D:

*sighness*

I keep using the same words and phrases over and over...

Well, anyone read the Twilight Series? Did ya'll read Breaking Dawn? *pleasetellmeyoudidn'thateitifyoudid* Anyway, I liked it, but a whole ton of fandom has turned into vicious haters with unkind words, and it is depressing. D':

The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I promised myself I wouldn't watch it... *sigh* I'm hooked. xP Terrible, terrible show. I mean, it's high school at it's worse, where every teenager is having... it, and some of them covering it up with 'Christianity', and a girl getting pregnant... meh.

The only characters I really LIKE-LIKE are Ben, Amy, and Ashley, Amy's younger sister. She's so bluntly... there. She just comes right out and says it, or covers it up. Ben's just... Ben. I like Ben. He's a very sweet boyfriend, with old-fashioned morals, and his dad owns a meat store-thing. Yeah. Amy... I just like Amy because... I'm not sure. She's emotional. I don't really like that she waited so long to tell her parents, but... what could you do?

Honestly, I don't watch these shows for entertainment value... even though I get to yell at the characters a lot... not that they can hear me... Kris and I watch it every Tuesday at 10:30, or whenever it's on, and we always have a... erm... deep-ISH discussion about it after the show is done.

Breaking Dawn was great to me. Even though it was kind of... okay, really bizarre, in some places. But, I don't know... I just really liked all the books. Maybe I'm too obssessed... *sigh*


*huggleseveryone* I promise, I'll be on here more often. Love you guys!

God Bless. :)

The Reasons Why... (kind of... I'll probably get off topic... if I don't, be glad! whee.)

Ahhh, good ol' internet addiction.

I used to play games on Barbie.com and be afraid to type my name in for a 'Good Babysitter!' certificate for watching baby Kate, or whatever her name was...

Wow, those were the days...

I used to journal.

Now I just blog, really.

I mean, it's easier than hiding a diary, and I never use my actual real full name on the internet anywhere...

But still.

(And I get readers who are pwnsome and awesomely friends! *hugzyouall*)

And... yeah.

I am constantly roleplaying... o.e

Like, seriously. I think about the stories I'm writing with my online friends in our roleplays, almost constantly. And I realize that's unhealthy... but... heh... yeah. o.e *sigh* It's not an 'oh well' situation. I got one of my friends hooked on the roleplay too... heheh. I really wish... alright, I CAN do something. But, that would involve willpower. Which I really need. I mean, God is always here and willing to help, and he wants me to change! But... well, getting comfortable really isn't a good thing, is it? We're not supposed to LOVE life on earth, love the ways of the world... we can't give in to that... *sigh* So I guess I should be changing.

Okay, I know I should be.

Today I feel rant-y. BLAME THE COFFEE!

-Aly-chan

God Bless you all!

Rant about this morning and a whole bunch of other stuff (slightly story style)

*yawn*

Today started out with my brother and my dad heading out to do work together so my mom and I could hang out and get my haircut for the Breaking Dawn release party tommorrow.

And then there was a tornado/EXTREMELY severe thunderstorm warning...

So yeah, I freaked out a bit.

The house never felt so empty and eerie before...

But I kept on praying to the Lord, and my dad called, and we were all good... and they had to cancel plans, however. For my dad's work and all that, reschedule appointments. (He's an adjuster for an insurance company... tons of property damage a few hours, and maybe even a few minutes, away from our house in Minnesota... but he works up north most of the time, so yeah, hours.)

Anyway, he called again. And my little bro and my dad were driving home... of course, my dad kept trying to freak me out by saying: "We're going through some tunnel clouds! OOH! We just got lifted up two feet and brought back to the pavement!"

Yeah. That's great, Dad. Just great.

Anyway, they got home. And I got a mocha iced coffee from 'McDonald's Cafe'. Which, I have to admit, even if you guys don't agree, tasted pretty good.

*sigh*

So then I walked through the rain to get a DVD. The river looks awesome today. The town of ours is so small... so darn, dang, small... but it used to be smaller. I mean, we NEVER had this many cars parked on mainstreet a few years ago, unless it was for some big event. Cars keep driving down, pulling out. Almost running people over...

Ugh. I miss that, sometimes... just the quiet little town. But we are a quiet little town, regardless. Our population has just gone up a bit.

And it's definitely gonna get bigger as soon as they start this plan they have out. It's horrible. There's this place where all these elk are? This elk farm-type-place? Well, they're gonna turn it into a HUGE business place, with this bio-research place. It's gonna suck. This part of town where I'm at, will be the 'old' part of town. And there will be people SWARMING here. Like the city nearby.

This place is gonna be a city.

It's like an extension of the city nearby. (Alright, no one's allowed to stalk me. (or my friends) IF YOU DO I WILL... erm... CALL THE POLICE! Yeah... that... anyway...), Rochester. A large of amount of people who live there, that I know, have parents that work at either IBM or the Mayo Clinic, as a nurse, a technology person, all that.

This is gonna turn into that.

I mean, it sounds great, but the nature... poor elk get to be put in little 'meadow-like' areas spread across the lovely suburbian community they're attempting to create here, with great jobs, and stuff like that. Sure, it's great. The city's expanding, yey!

But the animals are gonna be observed like they're in a zoo. Not that it's any better at the farm right now. But it's like the Indians, taking their land, and doing what WE want with it... I mean, they're animals, but it's still pretty sad to me.

And what's gonna happen when ALL small towns cease to exist?! I'm gonna hate coming here twenty years from now, with tourists and people filling up our streets... do we humans HAVE to just have more and more and more? I mean, why expand?! This place is perfectly fine... I love it the way it is/was. But nature's gonna decline, and small towns will keep growing, until they're a part of another city's metropolis.

*sigh*

Anyway, continuing with this morning...

I got 27 Dresse again. I haven't watched it yet, because Read It and Weep (the Disney Channel Original Movie) was on. And... to be honest, I think I'm an in-the-closet-DCOM-lover. Except for the Cheetah Girls, and when they got rid of Raven... EVEEL PEOPLE. *glares*

Anyway, Read It and Weep is a great movie to me. I mean, it just has a lot of great stuff in it... and it should have had a soundtrack, even though it wasn't particularly a musical. I liked it though. I really wanna know what the song is when Jamie is getting ready for the dance... *headdesk*

Anyway, I'ma keep ranting now...

That kiss. The one between Jamie and Connor in Read it and Weep.

That was what I thought MY first kiss would be... when I watched that movie, I absolutely thought of that. I remembered writing so much and class, how much I could relate to that movie back then. Now I see it through different eyes, but it's still the same. You can't lose yourself like that, pretend to be something you're not, and hurt people... but in the end, you've just gotta get back and learn who you really are, what's right, what's wrong. And it's great to have amazing friends who will always stick by your side, no matter what.

Anyway...

I didn't get the Connor and Jamie kiss, even though it was silently embedded in my head. I didn't think of that at all on that darn, stupid, freaking ski lift...

Oh well. I still won't forget mine. :) Who could?

Anyway...

(I've been saying that a lot lately...)

I really need to get back to my faith. *sigh* I was skimming my teen study Bible (from about 1990-something) again today, and I really need to focus. So bad... *sigh*

I don't wanna stray away...

I was reading one of my mom's devotionals in her 'Our Daily Bread' booklet, and it said "It's not how LONG you live, but HOW you live your life..." and stuff like that, for one of the dates... *sigh* And I gotta live for God, and stop trying to live for myself.

I've been tagged. (By Dibsy-chan.)

1. List five things that you like about yourself, or crazy things that you do or other random stuff about you that you feel like putting.-there will be no one accusing someone of bragging!!
2. Tag five other people, and leave a comment on their blog/page.

Well... here goes...

1. I skimmed over the first couple chapters of this book called 'Audrey Wait' by Robin Benway, and I now really wish that people would start flippin' recording the song in the book! Because it sounds like a good song... heh... heheh. I'm listening to the only YouTube recording I could find... (without searching too hard...)

2. I bought fake glasses. Just... cuz. Cuz I'm cool like that. 8) xDDDD Heh... heheh. I also bought a hairclip-like-item, with all this wavy-ish hair that hits mid-back when I clip it to my ponytail when Leanne had to get one for the Breaking Dawn release party this Friday at our local Barnes and Noble. 8)

3. My eyes rock. They're brown and have long eyelashes and are nicely shaped... yeah... random... I also have a ten year old brother who's addicted to Runescape!

4. I swear, one day, I'm going to put some form of unnatural red streaks into my hair. Because I just think it would look cool... just for the heck of it...

5. I used to write fanfictions during classes in sixth grade, by keeping the notebook in my lap, and writing underneath my desk. Most of the time I didn't get caught... though my social studies teacher did once... and my reading teacher lectured me on it... "I'm glad you're writing, but this isn't the time..." blah blah blah... yeah. I honestly did appreciate her... but I was freaked out when my SS teacher tossed my notebook on my desk. I then began writing down ideas to get out of being sent to the principals' office, if I got in that much trouble... (I exaggerate a lot... one of the ideas was 'fake a seizure'... o.e)

So yeah! There are my random things. Which are pretty strange.

I tag:

1. Leanne
2. Ella
3. Nathaniel
4. bright sponge
5. Sienna